Marginal Thoughts

A Not So Silent Night

2011-12-25T18:20:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! I'm sorry I missed yesterday's posting, but our Christmas Eve service and Christmas Day preparations sort of snuck up on me. I have to say that I am very grateful that I have a church that allows me to make adjustments on the fly during a service... and so, when the pastor forgets a detail or two, like asking someone to take the offering, she can just call on someone from the front and they step in.

We end this advent season with a photo similar to the one from my first reflection... focusing on the baby in the manger. We ended our Christmas Eve service with the song "Silent Night," but for some reason it seems to me that the evening was anything but silent. A young girl's screams as she gives birth to her first born child. The cry of Jesus' first breath in this world as a human being. Joseph rushing about. The animals restless. A band of rowdy angels shouting "Glory to God in the Highest" right outside of town. A group of shepherds showing up unexpectedly... I just can't imagine them arriving quietly, these hard working people making their way in from tending their flocks to take a peak at this new baby.

We often imagine God in the silence. It is quite a biblical image. God coming not in the roar of thunder or the crash of lightning, but in the still small whisper. We focus many of our spiritual practices on reaching that place of quiet and solitude where we can hear God's still small voice. But I wonder if sometimes in our desire to seek quiet and solitude we miss out on the presence of God in the midst of the ordinary noise and chaos of the day.

God was just as present as Mary cried out in labor as God was in the quiet that followed. God was just as present as the heavy footsteps of the shepherds arrived as God was in the few moments of peace right after Christ's birth. God was just as present in the triumphal singing of the angels as God was in the stillness of Mary's heart pondering it all.

As we go forth in this Christmas season, may we seek to see God not just in the silence and the solitude, but in the chaos and noise of our lives. May we have eyes to see when God is speaking in the midst of our ordinary every day living and breathing. May we recognize God's presence... not just in some distant silent place or deep within us, but right there on the surface. God with us. Immanuel.

No Room

2011-12-23T20:46:00.000-08:00

"and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn." Luke 2:7

I spent a few hours this afternoon at the homeless warming center that my church hosts on Fridays. We sat around and watched movies, ate popcorn, played checkers, and talked about sports and travels.

One of the men asked again if we had work for him. Which we don't. He has been looking for months.
One of the women showed me a final notice for the storage space she left all her belongings in back home in Georgia before coming up here to look for work. It goes up for auction in a few weeks.
Another is hoping to get into an apartment soon, but he doesn't have proper id yet and with his criminal record he is finding it difficult to get work.
Many speak of family they left behind, or who left them behind... the pain caused by one or the other was too much.

I realize that things are much more complicated than they appear on the surface, but still... I wonder about a world that leaves so many people out in the cold. Where addiction and mental illness can leave one alone and homeless for weeks, months, or even years. Where one can lose a job and then lose everything because there are no more to be found.

I wonder about Mary and Joseph... ending up alone in a barn to give birth to their firstborn. Forced by the government to travel to Bethlehem for a census. Didn't Joseph have relatives who also had to go to Bethlehem? Couldn't they have helped him find a place to stay? Welcomed them in when they arrived? Looked out for a young girl who was 9 months pregnant making a difficult journey?

And Mary's family... was there no one to travel with them? Where was her mother? An aunt or a sister? Did they have to leave her on her own?

Mary and Joseph, it seems to me, were alone and without resources when Jesus was born. The first sign that this Messiah was one who would walk with those on the margins, reaching out to the poor and working class, the homeless and the alone. His first visitors a group of scruffy shepherds making their way in from the fields. The second a group of foreign dignitaries, not even Jewish!

May our eyes be opened up to those who are left in the cold this Christmas season. To those who are without work or without family. To those who are living far from home. To those to whom the world says, "there is no room for you at the inn."

Songs of Justice

2011-12-22T19:01:00.000-08:00

I remember first learning "Where Justice Rolls Down" at CHiC (our denominational triennial youth conference) quite a few years ago. Perhaps what I remember most vividly is thousands of teenagers jumping up and down singing at the top of their lungs about a longing for God's justice in this world. I wonder how many of us really understood what we were singing about?

I didn't realize at the time how unique that song was. But now, after trying to choose contemporary music for worship services over the last year and a half, I recognize how rare it is for contemporary musicians to write about justice. Or several other key theological ideas, for that matter. We've tried to find songs about our ecclesiology, about how we relate to one another as Christians, about forgiveness of other people not just asking God to make us "whiter than the snow." If I had been choosing hymns, I'm not sure I would have found many more justice oriented songs and while there are few more about the church, there still seems to be vast areas that are missing.

What caused this particular shape to our musical vocabulary? When did we move so far away from scripture? From the full scope of the Psalms? From the songs of Miriam and of Mary?

Mary, after the tremendous greeting she received from Elizabeth and the baby, John, in her womb, after the affirmation that God is at work in her own pregnancy, breaks forth in worship... a song that sings of God's might and justice.

"My soul glorifies the Lord and my Spirit rejoices in God my Savior... He has brought down rulers from their thrones, but has lifted up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things but the sent the rich away empty." (Luke 1:46b, 47, 52-53)

May our songs of worship reflect the full breadth of God's character and our life together as Christians. Cries for justice. Laments for our sin. Pleas for grace and mercy. Praise and thanksgiving. What it is to be the church and the people of God... especially as we draw close to Christmas... in Mary's honor.

More Leaping Needed

2011-12-21T19:23:00.000-08:00

Okay... I realize it may not look like it... but really... it is a jump. It is supposed to be a leap, but I live in a small flat and my back has been bothering me and I am actually quite reserved about such things, so even a jump like this is quite expressive for me. But it is in homage to one of my favorite scenes in all of scripture:

"When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit." (Luke 1:41)

I'm not sure why the moment captures me so. Is it the unbridled joy that Elizabeth and John (in the womb!) express in the presence of Christ (in the womb!). That little spark of life in Elizabeth responding with such joy to that little spark of life in Mary. John seems to live his whole life that way. Over the top expressiveness... in the clothes he wore, the food he ate, his hygiene, his preaching, his devotion to Jesus.

I wish I had a little more of that in my life. Apparently I was a bit like that as a child... even perhaps with the same lack of social skills as John seemed to exhibit. Perhaps I should have just started preaching repentance to those bullies in junior high! What I wish most is that I would be able to recognize the presence of Christ in the same way that John did. I wish that... in spite of all the suffering and evil in the world, in spite of all the things I struggle with, in spite of unanswered prayers both big and small, I wish that I would just leap for joy in the presence of Christ more often.

That is my prayer for this Advent Season, for Christmas, for Epiphany, for the coming year. May God open me up to leap for joy more often, to celebrate the divine presence of Christ in this world.

Kick Butt Angels

2011-12-20T18:04:00.000-08:00

""When Zechariah saw him, he was startled and was gripped with fear. But the angel said to him: 'Do not be afraid, Zechariah, your prayer has been heard.'" (Luke 1:12-13)
"Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, 'Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.'" (Luke 1:20-21)

"And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified." (Luke 2:8-9)

For some reason, I don't think angels are quite how we picture them... the angels I have on my tree play cellos and sing sweet songs. They are always smiling and often look like children.

You would expect people to respond with oohs and aahs when an angel appears. An "Oh, how cute!" or "Isn't she adorable!" Instead, people fall down on their knees trembling in fear. Terrified. Often afraid to speak or move.

When I was traveling with friends in Guatemala, we saw statues of angels that seemed a bit more appropriate... we called them "kick butt" angels. One of them is pictured below. They wore armor and carried weapons and arrived with power and might.

We have domesticated angels. Made them our pets, our fairy godmothers, sweet friends that sit on our shoulder and speak words of encouragement. And perhaps they do some of that... watch over and encourage. But more often, they come bearing news from God... a plan that is about to be revealed, a child that will be born, a new king who will arrive and change everything.

They arrive telling us that we are about to take part in God's plan of redemption for this world. And that it may not be easy... for Zechariah it meant months of silence followed by the birth of a son who was beheaded when he was still a young man. For Mary, pregnancy out of wedlock, a son who would soon leave home to follow his calling, and bearing witness to the scourging and crucifixion of her son. For the shepherds... well, that seems to have gone a bit better.

Have we domesticated God as well? God, the great Santa Claus bearing gifts and good cheer? God, our own personal Jesus, answering all our prayers, always encouraging us and affirming all that we say and do?

This Christmas, may we remember that the birth of Jesus requires the same response as Zechariah, Mary and the Shepherds had before the angels... fear, trembling, awe, and great rejoicing that God's presence invites us into God's redemptive work in this world.

Serving in the Midst of Doubt

2011-12-19T18:59:00.000-08:00

Our church has finished its series on the prophecies in Isaiah... so my reflections this week will move to the pre-Christmas stories in Luke.

I have to admit that the text I picked for this morning has more to do with where I am at than with an appropriate text for this close to Christmas.
"Both of them were upright in the sight of God, observing all the Lord's commandments and regulations blamelessly. But they had no children, because Elizabeth was barren; and they were both well along in years." (Luke 1:6-7)

I am having a "feel sorry for yourself because of all the waiting in your life" kind of day. Frustrated at the long wait to find the right job after finishing my doctoral degree. Waiting for people to realize that even though I don't fit the current models of professors, I might actually do a good job! Frustrated at waiting for enough healing or for the right person or for God's timing or for whatever else has kept me single so long. Wishing I knew how much of it was me, how much is society, and how much is God. Frustrated that my biological clock is ringing incessantly and adoption takes so long... that I waited so long thinking I was waiting for something else to happen first...

The story of Zechariah and Elizabeth should in some ways give me hope. They had done nothing wrong. Zechariah served among the high priests. Elizabeth was upright, observing all the Lord's commandments. And yet they were considered cursed... or at least not blessed... by God because Elizabeth was barren (at least they assumed it was Elizabeth).

I wonder if Zechariah and Elizabeth were even praying for a child anymore? They were past child-bearing years. Did they still cry out to God each night? Or was their prayer something different... something deeper. The faithfulness to walk forward one day at a time. To continue keeping the Lord's commandments and regulations. Zechariah's willingness to continue leading in worship and prayer, to step into the holy of holies. Zechariah, serving faithfully, yet still doubting when God appears with a promise.

It gives me hope that faith doesn't always have to be something I feel. It does not always have to be something I even believe or trust in a the moment. It does, however, ask of me to keep walking forward in faith. To live out what I cannot for the moment feel.

Advent is not always about a feeling. It is sometimes... God does want us to feel hope, to believe, to trust. But sometimes, instead, Advent is about an action. About walking faithfully in the darkness. Holding on to what appears like a sliver of light... yet it is the light of the world. And holding on to that light will lead you into bright shining joy.

Oh... and the picture... it has very little to do with the reflection. Though they do remind me of the rosary and of the way praying the rosary is a way to continue walking faithfully even in times of doubt and darkness.

Holding Out Hope

2011-12-18T19:00:00.000-08:00

Our preacher this morning, Una Lucey-Lee, did a wonderful job finishing up our Advent series on the prophecies regarding Jesus found in Isaiah. She spoke of the ridiculous nature of the promise given in Isaiah 9 (and 7...) to Ahaz... faced with war on all sides, God promises a baby. And Ahaz must hold out hope until the baby arrives.

The baby will grow into a king. And Ahaz must hold out hope until the baby grows into this king.

The king will just be a sign of the eternal king to come, Jesus. And God's people must hold out hope until that eternal king arrives.

And that king will be born as a baby. And God's people must wait for that baby to grow into a king.

And that king will give his life for us and promise to return. And God's people today must hold out hope for that return.

Advent is about holding onto hope.

My mom sent me a baby blanket she made for me while I was in high school. I am assuming she was thinking of some far off future event at that time! Holding out hope until her baby grew into a mature young woman. And though that woman is now in her 40's, still single and without children, she still holds out hope.

And as I enter into the adoption process, she sends the sign of that hope to me. And we all once again hold out hope for the arrival of a baby.

What if Mary was A Man?

2011-12-16T19:36:00.000-08:00

"... and he is named Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." (Isa. 9:6b)

God as Father... it is a central image in scripture that becomes even more prominent around Christmas time. After all, Mary was the mother of Jesus... God was the Father. And Jesus himself is in this passage called "Everlasting Father."

Is God called Father because God is male? Or is God more like a man? Or is a man more like God than a woman? Most people... not all, but most... would strongly oppose these ideas. We are all created in the image of God. God is neither male nor female.

But why did God have to choose to be the Father in this Christmas scenario? Why not the mother? I have been thinking about this a bit today. Most of what I have thought about is significant, but perhaps a bit too graphic for my blog. But if God was the mother of Jesus, physically, then God would have had to preexist as a woman... an adult womb was needed for the little fetus Jesus to grow into a baby. It is a bit of a chicken and the egg scenario. Which came first? And it seems that it is extremely significant for the incarnation that Jesus' life began just like any other human being, at conception.

Having said that... it is Mary's act that seems to me so reflective of who God is. Bearing life... carrying life within her and giving birth to a new creation. Becoming one with God, knit together in the womb, providing sustenance out of her own being. Isn't that so much of who God is? The life giver? The one who feeds and nourishes us? The one who gives birth to new life, who creates and recreates?

The Everlasting Father, the Mother who gives birth to new life, the Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Prince of Peace.

Why Don't You Lead Already?

2011-12-15T20:24:00.000-08:00

"For a child has been born for us, a son given to us; authority rests upon his shoulders..." (Isa. 9:6)

Jesus... you were born with authority, the power to rule, the right to be king, to ability to overthrow governments and uphold justice and righteousness. So, what happened? Why don't you get to it? Why don't you just take control? Step in? Use your supernatural abilities? Change the created order? Rule, why don't you!

Oh, wait... I think maybe that is what they were shouting about on Palm Sunday. Jesus didn't seem to be ruling the way they wanted. There was no revolution. No end of Roman oppression. No visible immediate kingdom here on earth, at least nothing that we could recognize.

God doesn't seem to rule that way. So frustrating at times! And yet... to realize that God has entrusted so much to us, that God desires to work in and through us, that somehow God and I, we are in this together. Perhaps that was part of the point of the incarnation? That we are in this together. That God loves us, trusts us, wants us to live into who we have been created to be... humanity in God's image, male and female, with power and dominion, to lead all of us under God's loving care.

All authority rests upon the baby Jesus... and he uses it to empower us.

Bringing Justice at Christmas

2011-12-14T21:02:00.000-08:00

I had the chance to spend part of the day wrapping presents today at the YWCA. The presents were going to children who were currently living with their mother's in a home for those fleeing from domestic abuse.
Today I saw a report on the news that one in five women in the United States has experienced rape and one in four have experienced domestic partner violence.
When I speak on advocacy for women in ministry, I often hear people claim that women are no longer the victims of sexism or anything else in the United States.
And the statistics around the globe are even more frightening.

"... they rejoice before you as with joy at the harvest, as people exult when dividing plunder. For the yoke of their burden and the bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor, you have broken as on the day of Midian." (Isaiah 9:3b-4)

Christ came to bring righteousness and justice in our world, to bring redemption, joy and peace. May we work to do the same this Advent Season.

Terrifying Joy

2011-12-13T20:07:00.000-08:00

"You have multiplied the nation, you have increased its joy; they rejoice before you as with joy at the harvest, as people exult when dividing plunder." (Isaiah 9:3)

"Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid; for see--I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people.'" (Luke 2:9-10)

Joy to the World, the Lord is come... Let earth receive her king! We sing this song every Advent and Christmas season. Though it should be something we sing all year round. But reading through Isaiah has reminded me of the strange way that joy and terror can sometimes go hand in hand. For the coming of the Lord is nothing less than pure holiness entering into our world. Pure holiness entering into the imperfect beautiful and awful mess that is humanity. It should terrify us, being in the presence of the holy. But, of course, that is the joy of it all... the fact that we are not consumed, that we stand in God's presence and yet live, that God walked among us and did not destroy us but instead brought light and life.

I'm not sure I quite understand the holiness of God... not really. Not in the way the shepherds did. Terrified, yet falling to their knees in worship. I'm not sure I could actually live in that knowledge day to day. It would be marvelous and exhausting all at the same time. To know your own sinfulness, even if it is forgiven, in the presence of the holy. I suppose in many ways that is what the promise of heaven is all about... to be so transformed that we can stand with the cherubim and seraphim around the throne singing praises to God in complete joy. And, of course, that is what is accomplished with the coming of Christ into the world.

Joy to the world... the Lord is come.

What's so bad about being in the dark?

2011-12-12T18:02:00.000-08:00

"The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness-- on them light has shined." (Isaiah 9:2)

The general interpretation of this text assumes that dark is a bad thing and light is a good thing. That all people want to move from darkness to light. That light will lead people out of the darkness of their lives...

Now, I am not a big fan of the dark. In fact I have always been quite scared of the dark. It took me years to live alone without waking up in panic during the night... and sometimes I still wake up afraid. But, to be honest, these days I kind of wish I could live a bit more in the dark.

I have always envied those people who could walk through life oblivious to what is going on around them... always in the dark, so to speak, but seemingly much happier than I am. I, unfortunately, see things... when things are wrong, when someone is angry, when their is hurt or sorrow, when injustice is taking place.

Well... most of the time. As a white person in the United States I have become painfully aware that most of us have lived most of our lives in the dark about much that takes place in the world. I have worked hard to educate myself about issues of racism, sexism, classism, and other injustices taking place in the world around me. I have read about and experienced systems that discriminate against people... occasionally against me for my gender... more often against others for a wide variety of reasons. I continue to try to enlighten myself on these issues, make myself more aware of where they reside both in the world and in my own life.

It seems to be a part of faithfully growing as a disciple of Christ. Allowing God to continually enlighten you, to reveal to yourself the sin present in your own life and in the world around you. The light shines not only to reveal the good, but to reveal the bad.

And so... to be honest, there are times I want to flee back into the darkness. The light hurts my eyes... and my ears and my heart.

During this Advent Season, God grant me the courage to stay in the light, to move deeper into the light, to have the courage to continue walking forward with eyes wide open knowing that in doing so I will come to know you and all you care about in a deeper way.

A Garter Belt of Faithfulness?

2011-12-11T19:03:00.000-08:00

"Righteousness shall be the belt around his waist, and faithfulness the belt around his loins." (Isaiah 11:5)

Isaiah speaks of one God will send who will bring justice and peace to the entire created order. The Spirit of the Lord will be upon this person and they will be characterized by righteousness and faithfulness. Righteousness will be the belt around his waist... outwardly all will see this persons righteousness. It will be like an accessory to all they wear. A belt around their waist. I love the fact that commentaries describe faithfulness as his undergarment. If the he was a she, it would be a garter belt of faithfulness.

It seems that central to this text is the idea that the insides and the outsides of this person will match. They will do the right thing for the right reason, faithfulness to God. Their outward actions will be a reflection of their relationship with God.

If someone were to look into the wardrobe of my life, what would they find? What characteristics do others see in me? Do they reflect an understanding of a God who is just and merciful? And what characteristics are hidden beneath it all? What are those core values that direct all that I do? Is it faithfulness to God? Or something else? How often am I truly motivated by a desire to be faithful to God?

Thankfully we don't have to dress ourselves. God promises to cloth us in righteousness, giving us new garments to reflect a new life in Christ. May I allow God to cloth me in righteousness and faithfulness this Advent season.

Oh Christmas Tree...

2011-12-09T19:47:00.000-08:00

I'm a big fan of trees. Especially in the winter. There is something about the bare branches that I find strong and beautiful. They seem to represent life and hope. Renewal and second chances. Each winter they seem to almost die only to be resurrected again in the spring full of new leaves and new life.

Trees serve a similar purpose in Isaiah. They are a sign of resurrection, new life and new hope... even if they are first the sign of Assyria's power. The great oaks that are eventually leveled as a sign of God's judgment. Leveled after Assyria showed its power by leveling the trees of Israel and Judah. Leveling. Destroying. Burning over. Attempting to wipe out all life and sustainability.

But among the ruins, a shoot emerges. God who brought judgment in the end leaves a remnant, a stump that will once again bring life.

Trees. A sign of hope. Of renewal. Of second chances. Of the faithfulness of God to trim and cut back. Passing judgment. Yet never destroying. And one day, finally... everlasting renewal. That is the promise of Christmas.

Help Me to See the Invisible

2011-12-08T19:38:00.000-08:00

"... and He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears, but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth." (Isaiah 11:3b-4)

Learning how to discern right from wrong, truth from fiction... to make decisions and pass judgments has been one of the harder things I've had to learn how to do as a pastor or as an academic dean of students. The passage from Isaiah cautions us against judging by what we see or what we hear. Isaiah recognizes that our sight and our hearing are often clouded by prejudice, power, or cultural assumptions. And in a day and age when images and sounds can be so easily manipulated by technology, it has become even more true that what we see and what we hear are not always the best basis for a decision. Often we have only the partial truth, only one side of the story, only our limited understanding.

In the end, of course, God is the only one who can pass judgment on anyone. And yet each day we must make decisions about people, we decide between right and wrong, we act justly or unjustly... to the best of our ability. What can this text teach us? The first previously reminds us that we must rely on the Holy Spirit, that we need to listen to God, to know God, to be in relationship with God so that God may lead and guide us.

This verse reminds us that in whatever we do, whatever decisions we make, we must do so with an eye to those in need, the poor of the earth. We must strive to see those the world would render invisible. We must not let power, prestige or position impact our decisions. Those in power should not face less consequences because "they have more to lose." We must protect those without power even though the world tells us they have less worth. All people are created in the image of God. God values all people equally... perhaps even raising up those who seem to be less in the eyes of the world.

This week, Lord, open my eyes to those who have been invisible in my life, to those I have forgotten or ignored. May my decisions be informed by a care and concern for all God's people, especially those in need.

A Balance of Power

2011-12-07T20:38:00.000-08:00

"The Spirit of the Lord will rest on him-- the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding, the Spirit of counsel and power, the Spirit of knowledge and fear of the Lord." Isaiah 11:2

The text I am working with this week in Isaiah begins by telling us that a new king will be coming and then goes on the describe this king in the words listed above.

As a pastor, I am by no means a king... a shoot of Jesse... a savior to my people. But I love the pairings that describe this king's rule and they seem appropriate for pastoral leadership as well. Actually, they seem appropriate for all of us. And I think it is how they go together that is so important.

It is not enough to be wise... to think deeply or have all the right things to say... you must also have understanding. I can't prove that this is what it means in the Hebrew text, but it seems to mean that wisdom can in some ways be an abstract idea, it is something that at times sounds lofty or distant. Understanding, however, seems to be rooted, connected to the world around us. We must be wise without ever losing touch with people and the reality of their circumstances. Wisdom must be connected with care for and love for people.

It is not enough to recognize your power as a leader... pastor's do have some power by virtue of their position, their training, their calling. But that power must always be tempered by counsel, by a willingness to listen to others. I would argue that we must believe that the Spirit is moving through the congregation and we must be attentive to that as leaders. Otherwise we abuse our power.

It is not enough to have knowledge. We can read all the books we want. We can learn Greek and Hebrew. We can know theology and history and memorize every key text in the Bible... but if we do not fear the Lord, if we do not believe that God is a living being that we are in relationship with, if we do not understand God as both loving and Holy, then our knowledge is empty and useless.

And I don't think this is a word just for pastors... I think it applies to parents, spouses, friends, supervisors... maybe all of us. Because these ways of being... wisdom, understanding, counsel, power, knowledge, and fear of the Lord... they are not just for a few, but the gift of God to all people through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

Who is the Lion?

2011-12-06T19:51:00.000-08:00

"The wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them." Isaiah 11:6

We discovered recently that a homeless man was sleeping on the back porch of our church community house. As we've talked about how to respond, we've decided we have to ask him to leave. We wish we could just give him a security t-shirt and call him the night watchman or something, but we are just not sure what else to do.

I'm sure many of you will have ideas about how to respond, but my reflections for tonight have more to do with the passage for today. A picture of the peaceable kingdom, a future God promises where the aggressive and the meek with live together in peaceful harmony, where the powerful and the vulnerable can lie down together without fear, where we can follow the idealistic innocence of a child. As a reflect on this neighbor of ours who has moved in, I wish for that day. A day when all will have clothing and shelter. A day when there will be no need to fear one another. A day without violence and without want.

As I think about our homeless neighbor, I wonder which one of us is the lion and which the lamb? It seems that in this particular passage, God's main concern is to protect the poor and the needy, the bring about justice for the weak and the vulnerable. So I am left to wonder, am I the lion? Are we the wolf? The leopard? The powerful and aggressive?

God help us to bring about this just kingdom...

The Stump Remains

2011-12-05T19:05:00.000-08:00

This last spring we had to dig up two big beautiful trees that were located along the south side of our house. I hated doing it. The trees were beautiful... well, to us they were. Even if one of them had lost most of the top branches, was pretty lopsided, and served as a home for quite a few different creatures. But they had to come down... they were sick and dangerous. Essentially hollow on the inside. A fertile home for insects, but in danger of toppling over during the next big storm.

When we had them taken out, we had them dig up the stump as well, leaving nothing behind. We didn't want any new growth from the stumps, no shoots sprouting up. And no roots continuing to make their way into our plumbing and under our foundation.

In Isaiah 11, it seems that God has recently had to do a little pruning of his own. It seems that God's people have once again sinned against God. They have turned away, trusted their enemies, worshipped idols. In a way, they were a tree that had become sick on the inside, dying, providing a home for all sorts of creatures that didn't belong there.

God needed to do some pruning, to cut back the dead branches. The pruning was quite drastic, right down to the stump. But... the stump did remain... and out of the stump a new shoot emerged. God cuts back the dead branches not to dig up the tree, but to allow new growth to emerge. "A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse, from his roots a Branch will bear fruit." (Isaiah 11:1)

God seems to need to prune us occasionally. At times it is the nice gentle spring pruning that allows new growth to emerge. At other times, everything needs to be cut back to the stump. But still, it is a pruning... it is for the purpose of new growth.

May I embrace the pruning God might have for me this year. And may I not stray so far as to need to be cut back down to the stump. And... thank you, Lord, for always giving us second chances, for calling us to account, pruning our lives, but always allowing for new growth to emerge.

God Honoring Abundance

2011-12-03T20:59:00.000-08:00

It has been dreary and raining most of the day... so an older picture will have to suffice for my last entry on Isaiah 7:10-25. The themes throughout the week have been on signs and promises, abundance and provision. And, of course, the way God's plans in these areas are often not ours...
I have been thinking about God's image of abundance... of a land flowing with milk and honey. Of having so much milk that once could eat curds every day (not necessarily my top choice!) I find it interesting that what is promised is not meat or seafood, not grains, fruit, or vegetable, but milk and honey. Two items that God's creatures provide to nurture their young. That flow in abundance when there is safety and security and enough food to eat. That are an overflow of God's provision, honey and milk replenishing themselves regularly. That, if we are not overly greedy, nature can provide for us as a gift without sacrifice.

Somehow it seems to be a much better picture of abundance than I usually come up with. Abundance that is in perfect balance... all of the created order sharing together. Food that is given by nature rather than wrenched from it. It causes me to reflect on where my abundance comes from. Or, perhaps at Christmas, where do my Christmas gifts come from? And my food? My holiday clothes and decorations? Are they made in ways that reflects a respect for and partnership with others and with creation? Or are they made with unfair labor practices? Do they require the inhumane treatment of people or animals? Does the appearance of abundance at Christmas come at a cost? Or is it a sign of this rich blessing from God?

I don't know... it is just a thought.

A Sign to the Abandoned

2011-12-02T20:52:00.000-08:00

My reflections this week have focused on Isaiah 7:10ff... the passage where God promises to give Ahaz the sign of a child born to a virgin and named Immanuel. The sign is meant to point to peace and prosperity for Ahaz and his country despite enemies quickly closing in.

I've been trying to imagine what it was like to live in Ahaz's time... with enemies always threatening at the borders. A small nation always at the mercy of the next way of conquerors that made their way through the land. Well... not always at their mercy. The history of Israel is full of ups and downs, triumphs and victories, devastating losses and exile. When I read about it on paper, it seems as if things were always changing, always uncertain, always in flux.

And while that may have been the case, I wonder if the people experienced it that way? There must have been generations who felt sure that their prosperity would never end. There must have been others who were convinced that they would always suffer, always live under the threat of violence, always struggle to survive.

There are certainly people today who constantly live under the threat of violence, always suffering, always struggling to survive. Countries constantly at war. Communities constantly at risk. Families where violence is a constant threat. What might a sign mean to them? Would it bring hope? Would it reassure them that they are valued, even loved? Would it remind them of their own worth and dignity? And would that empower them... or make the struggles even more unbearable?

I have no answers in tonight's post... just the photo of an abandoned green house that I pass by every day. A reminder of all those who feel abandoned. That the sign promised to Ahaz is a sign for them.

And perhaps a challenge to God's people. God provided the sign. Perhaps we are to be a part of the fulfillment. Perhaps we are the ones who are to bring about the time of peace, prosperity and abundance for all people. For all people... not just our family or our neighbors. Certainly not just for our own little corners of the world. But for all people.

I think that may require a bit more sacrifice than I have been making lately. A bit more courage. A bit more reckless faith. May God light the way this Advent season.

That's not what I asked for...

2011-12-01T19:40:00.000-08:00

As I said, I've been focusing a lot on the sign aspect of this passage. About sending a baby to solve a war. I wish I could say that I would have received God's sign graciously. But if my normal patterns in life are any indication... I would have thrown a fit! A tantrum. Pleaded and cried and screamed. That's what I usually do these days when God doesn't answer my prayers.

I think I have always been a bit like this. I was never a gracious gift receiver. If I didn't like it, if it wasn't what I wanted, if it seemed to indicate that the person didn't know me at all... it showed all over my face. The grimace. The frown. The questioning look. Then, of course, I would pull it together, smile and say thank you.

I've worked on it all my life... trying to be more gracious, more grateful, more thankful. But I fall sometimes. Not just with people, but with God.

If I was Ahaz, I would have been yelling, "God, I don't need another sign! I know you are gracious. I know you are loving. I know you are faithful. I know. I know. I know. But what I really need right now is for you to fix this. For you to do your miracle thing. For you to answer my prayer... they way I want you to. Seriously... a sign? What good is that going to do me? The answer may not even happen until after I am dead and gone!"

May this year be different. May I be a bit more gracious. May I be a bit more thankful. May I receive what God offers. May I recognize that the signs point to promises that are far greater than anything I could ask for. May I find you sufficient and rest in you.

The Abundance of New Life

2011-11-30T19:17:00.000-08:00

I know that my last entry bemoaned the adequacy of sending a baby to overcome powerful military enemies. I am having a problem getting past the sign aspect of this passage. I've been reflecting on Isaiah 7:10-14, the prophecy of a young woman who will bear a son named Immanuel, God with us. So, I'll continue... as I write this I think I already have an idea for tomorrow's reflection, but that will have to wait!

For tonight, I have been thinking about what the sign of a baby might point to. A sign is not the answer to a prayer, but it points the way to the answer. Or, perhaps it is more accurate to say it points to a promise. For often prayers are not answered in our lifetime, but the promises of God are reaffirmed, the character of God is reasserted.

The baby would not end the war... but the baby would signal a better life, perhaps. A life where young women would once again be excited to give birth. It seems to be a promise of a good life for the child. A promise of a land filled with milk and honey. A land of peace and provision. A land where a child can learn the difference between wrong and right... no small promise given what so many children grow up in.

Children can still be such a sign. I realize that not all children are born in ideal circumstances whether it be violence, poverty, oppression, disasters, etc. Yet, when we embrace a child or ensure the best life for a child, it seems that we once again recreate this sign of God's promise to us and to the world. We once again point the way...

Seriously... a baby?

2011-11-29T17:49:00.001-08:00

I can just imagine what Ahaz might have been thinking. Vast armies arrayed against him. His neighbors turning on him. His fear that he won't be able to protect his kingdom. So, God decides to send him a sign of hope. Not a large army of angels to defend his territory. Not some newly developed weapon to defend his borders. No plague to wipe out the opposing army. Nothing powerful or mighty or deadly. Instead, God sends a baby. A baby! Seriously... what was God thinking? How was that suppose to bring comfort?

I mean, seriously, how was a baby supposed to bring comfort to anyone? How is a baby supposed to bring comfort to us today? What does it matter that God sent a baby into the world? Though, of course, God did not just send a baby. God came as a baby. God in little human vulnerable baby form. Did God really entrust god's self into our care for those few years of childlike vulnerability? Did God, the God separated by God's otherness and holiness and transcendence, really cross all of those chasms just to be with us? To walk among us? To take on our form? To save us?

A baby... a sign of hope in the midst of war torn times... Immanuel... God with us.

A Test or A Sign?

2011-11-28T19:25:00.001-08:00

Isaiah 7:10-12
Again, the Lord spoke to Ahaz, "Ask the Lord your God for a sign, whether in the deepest depths or in the highest heights."
But Ahaz said, "I will not ask, I will not put the Lord to the test."

"I will not put the Lord to the test." It seems like a reasonable response from Ahaz. I mean, really, who has the right to test God? And what test could be impossible for God to pass?
Ah... I guess that is the point isn't it. We don't test God. We have faith in God. We trust. We believe. Ahaz was a king who had just learned that his neighbors had aligned themselves with his greatest enemies. He was terrified. Afraid. About to lose heart. But he was not about to show that he was doubting God.

But thankfully God understands that at times we are fearful, afraid, that we lose heart. Did you notice that I said "we lose heart" rather than "we doubt God." I know... I know... semantics. They mean virtually the same thing. But I am not sure they do to God. There are times when I can logically say that I know that God is present, that God still cares, still loves, still provides and protects... but when all outward circumstances point to the contrary, at times I am not strong enough to hold onto my faith.

With Ahaz at his breaking point, God offers to give him a sign. "Go ahead," God says, "Ask for assurance. Let me remind you of my presence. Let me give you a sign."

Almost 15 years ago my sister and I began a cross country trek with my sister from San Francisco to Northern Minnesota via Nashville and Chicago. We chose to drive along the historic route 66. Nowadays, Route 66 seems to wind through the middle of nowhere. Just when you think you are lost in the desert, another sign pops up along the road to let you know you are heading in the right direction.

Every once in a while it is okay to ask God for a sign, to let God know that you are about to lose hope, to say, "I know you are there. I know you are real. I know how powerful and merciful and loving you are... but please, I just need a little sign of assurance today. Please remind me that you are here."

As you go through this Advent season, May God provide signs along the way... if you are winding through the desert, know that God is walking with you.

Prepare the Way!

2011-11-27T18:40:00.000-08:00

Well... the Advent season has begun and it is time for me to once again start posting on this blog of mine. As always, it is a journey. May we enjoy it together.

This season, my congregation is preaching through the many prophecies in the book of Isaiah that point to the coming of Jesus into the world. We began with Isaiah 40:1-5 which begins with the familiar phrase "Comfort, comfort my people, says your God." Comfort offered to a people in exile, bearing the weight of their own sin, fearing that God has abandoned them forever. But in the midst of their darkness, a glimmer of hope, a word of comfort, an assurance that God is coming and nothing can get in the way. Not the barrenness of the desert, not the low valleys or high mountains, not the bends or bumps in the road.

In my sermon this morning, I spoke about what we might need to do to get ready. Following John the Baptist's call to prepare the way with repentance, I spoke of the need to recognize our sin, or recognize that God can forgive all our sins, or recognize that God can even cleanse us from the sins of others.

I focused so much on what we need to do to make ourselves ready... what acts of devotion or service or forgiveness or reconciliation. But I realize there is another aspect of preparing the way that we need to attend to. How can we, during this Advent Season, prepare the way for others to receive the Lord so that, according to vs. 5, all people together may see the glory of the Lord revealed?

Where has the church failed to act justly or love mercy or walk humbly with our God? Where have we created valleys of doubt for those on the margins or struggling with those things that are beyond our understanding? When have we erected mountains of greed or prejudice? Where have we created curves in the road... those blind curves that allow us to fail to see the sorrow and struggle of others, so consumed as we are to stay on the road ourselves?

This Advent Season, let us take out the bulldozers and pick up our shovels. Let us fill in the valleys of fear, doubt, and grief. Let us tear down the mountains of greed and injustice. Let us... not just for ourselves, but for all the world... prepare the way of the Lord.

The Blindness of Grief

2011-04-22T18:55:00.000-07:00

Good Friday... I realize that there is much good about it for us. So much was given on our behalf on that day. A life sacrificed. God experiencing the depth of human pain and suffering, carrying the burden of our sin. I imagine it was hard for the disciples to see it that day, through their tears, as they looked at the man they loved dying before them.

Actually, we know that they could not see that day. That their sorrow, and for some guilt, would send them scurrying to their homes to hide. For others, standing at the tomb, looking at the burial clothes lying there, even seeing Jesus standing before them... they still couldn't see.

Grief and pain and guilt have a way of doing that. Blurring our vision. Causing us to see only that one bit of truth. The pain of that one moment. And to magnify it as if it is all of reality. For some, one can hardly blame them... facing a lifetime of suffering or violence or poverty or grief. And yet... and this is where hindsight makes Good Friday good. We know that even though Christ died, the light of Christ was not extinguished. Death had not won the day. Evil had not prevailed. Our own sin had not finally destroyed us.

In the midst of tears, we search for the light. Some faint memory of the past. Some glimmer of hope in the future. May we find our hope in Christ, in the unfailing love of a God who went to the cross for us.

Betrayal

2011-04-21T18:59:00.000-07:00

Maundy Thursday... a passover meal... gathering to remember the giving of the first born of Egypt for the release of Israel. Israel whose children were protected, until tonight. Until the night when a young Jewish man, the Son of Mary and Joseph, the Son of God, is betrayed.

Have you ever been betrayed? Had someone whom you thought you trusted turn their back on you? Rat you out? Hand you over to those who would hurt you? Stand in silence while you were crucified?

Have you ever betrayed someone? Where your courage has failed or your ego has taken over. Where your desire for security or advancement caused you to remain silent or point the finger at someone else? Or perhaps, as in this case, someone did not live up to your expectations... and so you crucified them. Without really understanding what was going on.

God walked into this betrayal with eyes wide open. Knowing the faults and weaknesses of humanity. Loving anyways. Loving enough to sacrifice his life. Remaining in relationship with Judas until the end. Not casting out the one who would ultimately turn him over to the authorities. Not failing to offer forgiveness even when dying on the cross.

How hard am I on those around me who fail to live up to my standards? Who don't lead the way I want them to? Who lack courage when needed? Even though I have done the same more times than I can count. How hard am I on myself?

I am not saying betrayal is right... it is never right. This is not about right and wrong. This is about love and reconciliation and forgiveness. This is about doing what is right even for those who hurt you. Loving your enemies... and the friends and family you have let down.

This is about knowing that even though we sin and fall, we are loved, deeply loved by God. Don't be like Judas, who could not accept the forgiveness of Christ. Who killed himself because of his guilt and regret. Jesus would not have wanted that. Ever. For anyone.

The Growing Darkness

2011-04-20T19:21:00.000-07:00

I love this stretch of road on Dempster Avenue in Evanston. The way the trees reach over the road... it feels as if you are entering into another world. Even if it is just for a few blocks. I also remember when I first moved to Boston how oppressive these same sort of trees felt. Moving from California and Washington with wide open spaces and coastlines, it was a bit too much at first. A sense of being closed in. Of impending doom.

I imagine this is how the disciples were feelings during Jesus' long speech that extends from John 14-17. Scattered amidst all the words of love and promise were the hints that something terrible was about to happen. That they would be hated by the world. That Jesus would be leaving them. That there would be a betrayal. And a few chapters earlier, a prediction that Jesus would die.

There is hope. On the other side of the grief, there is joy. When Jesus has gone, he will send His Spirit, the comforter and guide. The disciples will become Christ's brothers and sisters in an even deeper way.

If you have been through grief, you hear all these promises. You know what is waiting on the other side. But it does not ease the pain of now. As with this final discourse, you hold both the hope and the grief side by side. One does not negate the other. You do not grieve less because of the hope contained within it. You do not hope less because of your grief. You weep and mourn and laugh and cry all at once. Life is not a game of either or when it comes to emotions. They all bubble over together... sometimes exploding like a bad science experiment. Sometimes producing something beautiful... rich and complex.

Jesus knows about our grief and pain... having walked this path... forward into the looming darkness of the cross. I don't think knowing what was on the other side made it any easier. The pain was real all the same... but still, a glimpse of hope made all the difference.

Love One Another

2011-04-19T19:10:00.000-07:00

"Little children, I am with you only a little longer... where I am going, you cannot come. I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:33-35)

How are we doing on this these days? How is our love for one another? To be honest, I am grateful that for some reason, despite conflict and frustration, despite my struggles with balance, gift, and calling, God has given me a heart for the churches I have served. I fall in love with them. Even when I am angry. Even when things are going great. I don't really know where it comes from most of the time. I think it is a gift from God.... and I think it is essential for ministry.

Having said that, I still have some self-reflecting to do on this topic. How is my love for people these days? I'm not too worried about what other people are perceiving, because to be honest it seems that we have lost sight of what love truly is in our society. Love compelled Jesus to walk away from his disciples towards the cross. It was only in hindsight that they understood the depth of love in the act. But in my own heart, how am I doing? Am I loving those around me? Truly?

From the Top to the Bottom

2011-04-18T19:04:00.000-07:00

The scripture for next Sunday takes us right to the resurrection... it seems fitting to go right from the Triumphal Entry of Palm Sunday to the resurrection. Both scenes of the triumphant king. And yet so much happens between the two. In John, the triumphal entry is quickly followed by Jesus speaking about his death, the unbelief of the people, and Jesus going into hiding.

And then... the washing of the disciples feet. Of course Peter didn't understand. His king was suddenly kneeling before him. Like a humble servant. These were not feet that had been safely ensconced in a pair of shoes and socks walking around the office all day. These were feet that wore sandals and walked dirt paths. These feet were covered with earth, with life, with humanity.

It is clear that in washing the disciples feet Jesus was modeling true servant leadership. But I suppose at this moment I am thinking of something a bit different. In washing the disciples feet, Jesus was embracing humanity. Not shying away from the dirt and dust that are a part of life. Willing to get his hands wet. A working class man.

A very human king. Of course, every bit divine. That is the paradox of the week, isn't it. We wanted a human king. A king who would take control. Sit on the throne. Rule with political power. Not realizing that Jesus could be not just a human king, but a divine one. Ruling eternally. Ruling not just with political power, but with divine power.

But Jesus took an even more human route. A way of suffering. These are the days that test our relationship with Christ. These are the days that challenge us to consider what kind of king we are looking for. Are we willing to truly follow a servant king... not just a servant king, but a suffering servant?

Just a prophet...

2011-04-16T20:08:00.000-07:00

Jesus' parade into Jerusalem has created quite a stir. According to Matt. 21:10-11, the city was in chaos. Everyone wanted to know who Jesus was. And the crowds following him replied, "A prophet from Nazareth."

I don't actually know if this was a good or a bad designation given what had just happened. They were just proclaiming Jesus as king, as messiah, but suddenly he is just a prophet. And a prophet from Nazareth at that... what good can come out of Nazareth, the saying goes. I wonder why they didn't just tell people he was their king? Was it too politically dangerous? Or perhaps "a prophet from Nazareth" alluded to something that we are not aware of these days.

I wonder about our own designations for Jesus. Are we similar to the crowds? Do we, on Sunday mornings and when we are with our friends from church, proclaim Jesus our king and savior, but when the parade is over does he become once again just a prophet from Nazareth? What do we proclaim about our God to the world once we leave worship?

This Side of Palm Sunday... will we still worship?

2011-04-15T18:35:00.000-07:00

Last week our Sunday School kids made a "palm of palms" as their craft for the day. So cute! All those little hands forming a palm of praise to God.

Of course those who were waving those original palms got it all wrong. Jesus was not the kind of king they were looking for. He went to the cross, not the throne. What kind of king is that?

Looking at the palm of palms, the child-like faith that went into it, I wonder how wrong they really were. Most likely no more off in their faith than the rest of us. We worship what we can of God. We worship what we know, what we grasp at any given moment. It is always a child-like faith, always a bit naive, always missing something of who God is. That is the beauty and the mystery of it all.

They wanted God to save them. And God did. Not the way they expected or even wanted. I suppose the question I have to ask myself on this side of Palm Sunday is whether or not I'm still willing to worship that kind of God. A God that I want to save me, to rescue me, to take away the frustration and suffering of this world. A God who has brought more salvation than I could ever imagine... yet not in the way I expected or even wanted. Yes, there was the resurrection, but before that was the cross. The cross... we wear them around our neck, hang them on our walls, raise them up in our churches... but do we really worship the God of the cross?
T

Jesus for President

2011-04-14T20:01:00.000-07:00

So, this picture is from yesterday... the day I had to have Jim and his team come and cut down two of the big trees on the side of our house. If you look closely, Jim is up in the top of the tree in the backyard.

I have been wondering about the symbolism of the palm branches used during the triumphal entry. They actually only seem to show up in John's version. In Matthew they are just branches and in Luke (I think) they seem to be leafy branches from the fields. But the triumphal entry has become intimately associated with palms. People cut down palm branches to wave in the air and place on the ground before Jesus' entry into the city.

From what I have read, it seems that Palm branches were a national symbol for Israel. In a sense, the people were proclaiming Jesus their king, claiming to have a new national leader other than Rome. Today it would be much like shouting "Jesus for President!" in the United States. Though perhaps it would be more like another country shouting for a leader who did not support the United States... for a colony trying to establish independence... for an ethnic minority trying to reassert their right to a national identity.

At times I believe such rebellion against human authorities is necessary. When governments and businesses no longer lead justly or on behalf of all the people.

And yet that is not exactly what the triumphal entry is all about. Don't get me wrong. It was about overthrowing the power of Rome in many ways. It certainly had political implications. But the view of the people was too limited. Jesus didn't want to be the next Caesar or President or national leader. Jesus was claiming an authority much greater than that. Jesus recognized the corruption inherent in all human systems. We are sinful people. Our systems are flawed. Jesus did not come to serve as a leader for one of these flawed systems, but rather to offer grace and forgiveness... and to establish an entirely new way of being. A way not of power, but of the cross.

What are my dreams for Jesus? What do I want God to accomplish in this world? And how has that limited my ability to see how God might desire to work? How do my dreams at times get in the way of God's dreams and promises for this world?

Will we let our leaders be truly humble?

2011-04-13T19:01:00.000-07:00

"Look, your king is coming to you, humble, and mounted on a donkey." (Matt. 21:5)

I have been trying to figure out whether or not people actually want humble leaders. Do we really want our kings, our presidents, our pastors, our parents, to humble themselves and lower themselves. Or do we prefer them lifted up? Do we prefer them to be larger than life? Do we prefer them to remain on a pedestal, a bit distant, bearing both our admiration and all responsibility?

We talk a lot in our denomination about needing pastors who are strong leaders, but what does that actually look like? Our text for this week with its parade celebrating king Jesus suggests that the people do want a humble king. Just not too humble. Go ahead and ride on a donkey, but let us put our cloaks on him first. Go ahead and ride slowly into the city, but we are going to wave flags celebrating the might of our country (Palms were a national symbol for the Jewish people). Be humble, but strong. Be humble, but take control. Be humble, but don't go to the cross. That is too much. We didn't ask for that.

As a pastor, I constantly find myself struggling between what it is to "lead" and what it is to "serve." How to "cast a vision" while at the same time "empowering others." How to be authentic, but not reveal too many weaknesses. After all, you don't want the people to lose faith in you... and you certainly don't want to "embarrass the family."

Do we really want a humble king? Do we really want leaders who are willing to go to the cross? And are those of us who are leaders willing to take the risk of embracing such humble leadership, even if it means that at the end of the week the crowd might stop singing your praises and might start calling for you to be crucified?

The Church of Our Humble King?

2011-04-12T19:43:00.001-07:00

So, when you try to take a picture at 9:45 pm, your options start to become quite limited. But, I did try and look at the text, walked around the house for a while with camera in hand. As I was walking, I was looking for images that reflected the idea of a humble king.

Matthew 21:5 describes Palm Sunday with this image from the Old Testament: "Look, you king is coming to you, humble, and mounted on a donkey..." Having no crowns or kings or donkeys in the house, my thoughts began to wander.

I began thinking about churches... church buildings in particular... and I wondered what God makes of them. Do they reflect what God desires in a church? And so, I began going through some of my old pictures of churches from around the wordl...

Would God build a church that reflected a humble king, coming to us riding on a donkey? What would that look like?

God did, of course, design the great temple that was in Jerusalem. So, God has not always been opposed to ornate worship spaces. And perhaps there is something in them that still reflects God's glory.

Perhaps the high arches do help us to experience God's transcendence. Still, during this week of Palm Sunday, I just wonder.

What do our churches communicate to the world about our God?

Images from:
Lake Atitlan, Guatemala
Copenhagen, Denmark
Evanston, IL
The Andes, Peru
Cusco, Peru
The Sistine Chapel of the Andes, Peru
Stockholm, Sweden

We're Just "Borrowing" It...

2011-04-11T19:24:00.000-07:00

The scene shifts this week, moving another step closer to Jerusalem. And in a strange twist of fate, just after the religious leaders commit to plotting Jesus' death, Jesus experiences his most "triumphant" moment.

It begins with Jesus sending two disciples to neighboring village to "borrow" someone's donkey and colt. Now perhaps people were a bit more generous with their possessions in Jesus day, but it still seems rather strange to me that the disciples were not told to ask permission. Rather, if someone stopped them they were to tell them it was for "the Lord." To be honest, I don't know exactly what a donkey was used for in Jesus' day. Was it simply about transportation? Or was it also used to work in the field?

If it was for transportation, then what would I think as a disciple if I was asked by Jesus to go into a neighborhood and "borrow" somebody's car without asking permission? How would I feel if I walked out of my house and someone was driving away in my Jeep? If they said it was "for the Lord," would it make any difference?

While this reflection may be a bit of a leap, it has caused me to think a bit about how I hold onto my possessions. Do I consider myself simply a steward of things that are here for the Lord's work? Would I be willing to let go of anything and everything if it was needed by God? And what do I miss out on, how do I get in the way of Jesus' triumphal entries in this world by trying to hold onto so many material things?

Lazarus

2011-04-10T19:43:00.000-07:00

One last photo of Lazarus...

I've been stumbling along with those in the story this week. Thomas who was sure he was heading towards his death. Martha, who gives us this amazing confession of faith in Jesus as the Messiah, but still doubts that he will actually raise Lazarus. Mary, who simply pours out her grief in weeping and wailing at Jesus feet. And as I've finally come to the end of the story, I've come to realize that it is those who stumbled along who experienced God's love. Jesus weeping with them. It is those who stumbled along who witnessed God's power. Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. It is those who stumbled along who came to believe more fully that Jesus was the resurrection and the life.

Actually, those who were sure, those who knew what Jesus had done and felt they knew who Jesus was, the religious leaders... those were the ones that eventually condemned Jesus. Perhaps a little doubt now and then is not such a bad thing. Perhaps it leaves us open to a God who is more than anything we could ask or imagine.

A Very Human Detail

2011-04-08T20:05:00.000-07:00

Imagine the scene. Jesus has finally arrived in Bethany. He is late, of course, and Mary and Martha have both confronted him about it. Lazarus is already dead. The people are wailing in grief. Jesus himself is angry and crying. But there is a sense that something is about to happen. Something he said to his disciples about Lazarus just being asleep. A promise he made to Martha that Lazarus will rise again. Jesus walks up to the tomb, raises his arms and commands, "Take away the stone!" But before anyone can react... Martha steps in.

"Um... Lord... do you really want to do that? It is going to smell really bad."

As I've reflect on Martha's words in this moment, I have been struck by two things. First, how very like Martha I am. God can be in the midst of doing miraculous things. The drama can be building. Everyone else is caught up in the moment. And I'll be worried about some very human detail. How will we feed all these people? What are we going to do with all these fish? Um, Jesus, the boat is sinking. There's a storm on the horizon. She shouldn't be doing that, should she?

It seems that whenever the disciples had those very human moments, those moments when they couldn't quite see beyond the very earthly existence of this world, Jesus just seemed to shake his head and patiently continue with his miracle. He seems to know that at times we will be people of little faith. He seems to know that what he is promising really is beyond anything we could ask or imagine. All he seems to ask for is the faith that we do have. The willingness to keep moving forward with Jesus with what we do know. And if we continue to walk with him, he will reveal his glory.

Second, how grateful I am that our Bible is full of these little human moments. That it is not some perfectly scripted drama, but rather a very human endeavor. It is these little human moments that allow me to enter into this story not as a fantasy to escape this world but rather as God's plan of redemption for this world... this world with all its tastes and sounds and sights and even smells.

As we draw closer to the cross, closer to our Easter celebration, may we be willing to lay at Jesus feet our all too real little bits of faith and may we enter into this story, this plan of redemption for the world.

I Am the Resurrection and the Life

2011-04-07T19:54:00.000-07:00

In the Mary and Martha story of Luke 10, I have always identified more with Martha. She was the good girl, the sensible one, the one with all the right answers... I am guessing she was the older sister of the two. (I am making no judgments here on one being better than the other! Just identifying...) And when we meet up with her again in John 11:21ff, we see that not much has changed. She goes out to greet Jesus and while she begins accusing Jesus of not being there when she needed him, she immediately states her confidence in his ability to fix this.

Or at least it seems that way. "I know that God will give you whatever you ask of him," she says. Yet when Jesus tells her that Lazarus will rise again, all she can imagine is that Lazarus will be resurrected on the last day. Jesus presses further telling her he is the resurrection and the life. She responds confessing that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God.

And yet, in the next scene there is no sign that Martha has convinced anyone that Lazarus will be raised from the dead. In fact, when Jesus commands people to open Lazarus' tomb, Martha can't imagine anything other than a dead decaying body lying in there. She had the right words. She even knew who Jesus was. Yet even this faith could not prepare her for the overwhelming thing that was about to happen.

I often feel that way about God's promises in my life. I hear them. I believe in them. I try to trust in them. But my own sense of what is actually being promised by God is so much smaller than what God is actually promising. Even in my best moments, I fall short of understanding the depth of God's love for me, for us, and the true abundance of life that is being offered to us. Despite my faith, I often live as if God will let me down. As if all of the promises are only for the next life.

This Lenten season, may I grow in my faith not only in the resurrection, but in the life that is promised to us here and now. Life abundant in Jesus Christ.

Disturbed and Moved

2011-04-06T15:30:00.000-07:00

John 11:33-35 "When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved. He said, 'Where have you laid him?' They said to him, 'Lord, come and see.' Jesus began to weep.'"

Commentators generally agree that this chapter in John reveals the most divine and the most human aspects of Jesus all within a few verses. We have a Jesus with friends whom he cares for, a Jesus disturbed and moved. We also have a Jesus who knew when Lazarus had died, who proclaimed himself the resurrection and the life, and who raised a person from the dead. The extremes of the incarnation. The human and the divine. Only God could hold those together.

There is much speculation as to why Jesus was disturbed in vs. 33. It is not that there are a lack of possibilities! In fact, that is part of the problem. Was he mad at those who doubted his love for Lazarus? Or his ability to raise him from the dead? That does not strike me as very "Jesus-like," but not being divine myself I am not always right about these things. Some wonder if he was angry at those who were present but would eventually condemn him to death. Some believe he was angry at death itself and the pain it causes. Some believe that his own grief was full of conflicting emotions... anger, concern, sorrow, love... much like any other human being.

I took the image for today while it was raining out... a particularly apt moment to reflect on a God who cries with us and for us. But this particular sculpture has also caught my eye so often when driving by. I imagine it representing the anger Jesus must have felt as something crumbled. Or the crumbling of something false that happened in response to Jesus' anger. The loss of life. The loss of hope. The way that Jesus' walk towards the cross resembled a crumbling world for the disciples, but was in fact a tearing down of the old to build up something new.

Despite knowing that it was all for God's glory, despite knowing that it was the path of redemption, Jesus pauses... and weeps... reminding me that we are allowed to feel all sorts of things as we walk this path with Jesus. That sorrow and grief and anger may be appropriate emotions at times. We do not need to hide them. But we also cannot allow them to stop us from continuing to move forward... even if our destiny is with Christ's... on the cross.

The Meaning of Glory

2011-04-05T19:55:00.000-07:00

As you may know from last week's posts, I tend to struggle with the idea of human suffering as a means for God to be glorified. The concept comes up again in this week's passage: ""This illness does not lead to death; rather it is for God's glory, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it." (John 11:4)

When I first read these words, I hear them through human ears. I do that far too often. It is so difficult to maintain God's perspective when reading scripture! But so important. When I first hear the word "glorified," I immediately think of someone being lifted up and praised. I think of accolades and parades and bright lights. And while that is certainly a part of what it is to be glorified, God does not need to seek such glory. God is glory. God is surrounded by God's glory. Unlike human beings, glorifying God has little do to with God's ego or need for praise. Rather, to glorify God is to recognize fully who God is...

And that type of glory did not come by way of bright lights and parades... okay, well there was a parade, a triumphal entry, but the glory came afterwards. No, not in the resurrection, though that is a part of it. We see in John 12:23 that the glory of God was present in the very suffering of Jesus, in the way of the cross. "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit."

The man born blind, the death of Lazarus... these were not simply so Jesus could look spectacular. They were so that people would begin to see God's power at work in Jesus. So that people would realize that Jesus was the messiah. Even if that meant, as we see at the end of John 11, such knowledge would lead to Jesus' death.

It is no easy thing to be in the path of redemption. It requires something of us. It required more of Christ than we could ever imagine. May I have the courage to seek to glorify God in a similar manner, not seeking power, fame, or even success for the sake of the gospel, but rather taking up my cross and following into Jerusalem.

Jesus... you are a little late

2011-04-04T18:03:00.000-07:00

Our text this week moves from John 9 and the healing of the blind man to John 11 and the death and raising up of Lazarus. The story does not start off very promisingly. Jesus' good friends, Mary and Martha, send a messenger to let him know that their brother, Lazarus, is very sick. They clearly want him to come quickly, but he doesn't. Instead, he stays where he is for two days before answering their note and and by the time he makes it to their house in Bethany... Lazarus is dead. According to Jesus, this is all so that God might be glorified... much like the man in John 9 was born blind so that God might be glorified.

I am having one of those seasons in my life where I feel a bit like Mary and Martha. I seem to be sending Jesus messages asking him to head my way. There is an urgent need that requires his presence. But Jesus seems to be delaying in response, too busy elsewhere, has other things on his mind... or perhaps even intends my suffering during this delay to be for God's glory. But at the moment, I don't really understand it at all. And I doubt Mary and Martha did either.

In this midst of this terrible scene... Jesus, himself, failing to respond to a dear friends illness... there is one verse that gives me pause and causes me to hope. Verse 5 says, "Accordingly, though Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus..."

What does this tell me? It reminds me that when Jesus seems to be silent, when Jesus does not seem to come when I need him, when Jesus delays answering my prayer or bringing the healing I seek, it is not because Jesus does not love me. Jesus does love us, even when he seems absent. I don't always understand what that love means in the moment. But I do know that Jesus' love was deep enough to drive him to the cross and sacrifice his life on our behalf.

We don't always understand Jesus' actions, but like Mary and Martha, we are to trust in Jesus' love.

Spiritual Blindness or Blind Faith?

2011-04-02T19:46:00.000-07:00

John 9:40 "Some of the Pharisees near him hear this and said to him, 'Surely we are not blind, are we?'"

For the last few days I've been mulling over the idea of spiritual blindness present in our text for this week. Our preacher for Sunday, Melanie, commented on it as she shared themes for her sermon and my friend Cathy wrote her Lenten blog on the topic yesterday. Their thoughts have caused me to ponder my own feelings of spiritual blindness these days... actually they are feelings of spiritual blindness that I have been having for a few decades now, ever since the unshakable faith of my conversion was shattered by one too many unanswered prayers and a disillusionment that comes with the realization that the church is far from perfect.

It feels sometimes as if I can't see Jesus for all the pain and suffering in the world... not just in my own life, but now that my eyes have been opened to the depth of racism and sexism in the world, now that I am grappling with global poverty and my inherent role in it, now that I realize that God's blessing does not equal money, relationships and security... it feels at times that it is harder to see Jesus. That faith I had when I was a new Christian that everything would work out in the end, that it would all turn out just right, is gone and it feels at times as if my faith in Jesus is a bit tenuous because of it.

It feels like spiritual blindness, but I wonder now if before I was actually acting on blind faith. I wonder if before I had faith but I failed to see the world as God sees it. I wonder if my eyes were really closed to all the things that God cares about, the poor and the weak, the least and the lost, those suffering from injustice. Perhaps what I am experiencing is not spiritual blindness, but rather learning to see through God's glasses. My eyes and my heart are still adjusting a bit... because of course seeing with God's eyes is not easy for us mere human beings. And yet is what God desires of us, what God gifts us with... to see the world as God sees it that we might understand more of this God that we love and follow.

Am I Willing to Be Put Out?

2011-04-01T18:58:00.000-07:00

John 9:22 "His parents said this because they were afraid of the Jews; for the Jews had already agreed that anyone who confessed Jesus to be the Messiah would be put out of the synagogue."

Over the last few years I have been regularly faced with having to consider what it might mean to leave the church. This is not a commentary on my own denomination or what they believe. All denominations have strengths and weaknesses. I happen to think my denomination has more strengths than many others... but still, if you are going to enter into serious theological reflection, especially in a PhD program (yes, I recently finished my PhD), but also in a living dynamic relationship with God, the Bible, and the world, you must be willing to entertain this thought. What if, through prayer and reflection, through the reading of scripture, theology and church tradition, I come to a disagreement with my church... a fundamental disagreement that, should I clearly voice what I have come to believe may threaten my place within the denomination?

Perhaps you think this is not possible. That the church and tradition are always right. Well I am pretty certain that the blind man's parents in this passage felt the same way. I don't doubt they had tremendous trust and faith in the synagogue... but they were coming to a new understanding, one that put them at odds with the very community that had led them to God in the first place.

What do you do? Now I realize there are some who would easily walk away, find a new church, a new denomination, a new religion. I actually don't think it should be that easy. I think that such decisions to change communities of faith should only come after deep soul searching, in community with others, after much prayer. Without a commitment to one another, there is no community to leave in the first place.

But, what do I do when I feel compelled to witness to something that might get me "put out of the church?" Will I be willing to take the risk? Will I be willing to give up the security? And in my case, would I be willing to give up a potential career?

I am not considering any of these things at the moment, but I think they are important to reflect on. I think we must recognize the choices we have made to be a part of the churches and denominations we are part of. We chose to be here. We can chose to leave. Will we risk when we feel God is showing us something, challenging us in some way? Or will we remain silent like the parents in the passage for today?

Losing God in the Sabbath

2011-03-31T18:39:00.000-07:00

John 9:16 "Some of the Pharisees said, 'This man is not from God for he does not observe the sabbath.' But others said, 'How can a man who is a sinner perform such signs?' And they were divided."

In the Jewish tradition, families mark the sabbath by lighting a candle 18 minutes before sundown on Friday. For the next day, until three stars appear in the sky on Saturday evening, no work is to be done. It is a day of "ceasing" from the Hebrew "shabbat" which we translate as Sabbath. It is a day of rest marking the seventh day of creation when God rested. It is a day to celebrate release from slavery and an enforced seven day work week.

But it seems that over time Sabbath became a marker for those who were from God and those who were not. Those who kept it properly, observed all the right rules, were strict and rigid in their discipline were considered faithful. Jesus, of course, broke the Sabbath rules regularly by healing on the Sabbath and allowing his disciples to gather grain to eat.

I am not so much concerned about judging the Pharisees in this passage for their condemnation of Jesus for healing on the Sabbath. Rather, I am wondering about what my rules are? What are those things that I consider as sacred as the Sabbath? Those things that I believe can help me to distinguish someone who is from God and someone who is not? What are those practices that have become more important than faith itself? More important that loving God and loving my neighbor as myself? More important than doing justice, loving mercy, and walking humbly with my God?

I am not saying that our faith shouldn't show in our actions. And I am definitely not saying that some historical practices of the church aren't important disciplines in our life... but when do I cross that line where the discipline comes define me rather than the God who established it? When do I become about purity but not holiness? When do I become about individuals rights and not justice? When do I read the Bible but fail to see God? Attend church every Sunday but forget to worship?

Exactly When Was He Healed?

2011-03-30T18:59:00.001-07:00

After Jesus spreads mud on the blind mans eyes, he tells him to go wash in the pool of Siloam (John 9:7) No one knows exactly when the man was healed. Was it the moment Jesus' touched him applying the mud to his eyes? Was it the washing in the pool of Siloam? Did it happen as the blind man was walking back to Jesus after washing?

In reflecting on this part of the text, I have been thinking a lot about Baptism... as evidence by the picture of my churches portable (well, supposedly) baptismal pool. There are many theological positions on what happens at Baptism. Is it simply an outward human act symbolizing what God has already done for us and in our individual lives? Does it have any salvific powers at all? Does God do something special during baptism? Is the Holy Spirit present in some unique way?

I don't actually have a good answer to any of those questions... except to say this... it is something that God commanded and so I have to believe that something significant happens in the act. I don't know exactly when a person gets saved. Is it the moment they are touched by Jesus? Is it during baptism? Is it when they walk into their faith after baptism? Is it the act of obedience in responding to Jesus' command to "go" in the first place?

Perhaps its does not actually matter. I don't think the blind man cared when exactly he was healed. All that mattered to him was that he was healed and Jesus was the one who healed him. And it isn't even the act of healing that is significant. It is the fact that now he can see!

Perhaps more important than the exact moment we were saved is the fact that we were saved. That Christ offered salvation to us in a muddy mix of his body and blood. That once touched by the mud of the cross, we are washed clean from our sin. And now that we have been cleansed, we are righteous... called to live not as those who walk in the dark, but as those who can see.

Healing Touch

2011-03-30T05:46:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I forgot to post yesterday! It is not that I wasn't thinking about it... I just forgot to take the photo and get it up on the blog.

John 9:5-6 "'As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world.' When he had said this, he spat on the ground and made mud with the saliva and spread the mud on the man's eyes."

"I am the light of the world." Such a grand statement from Jesus. A beautiful, dignified image of who he is. And then he turns around and spits. Not only that, he reaches down and mixes his spit with the dirt on the ground and then scoops some up and spreads it on a poor blind man's eyes! So unsanitary! So not what I expected from the light of the world! Though perhaps it connects a bit with the living water from last week's passage on the woman at the well?

I'm not sure why spit had to be involved, but I appreciate the healing touch involved. I don't see or experience enough of that these days. There are so few places where people can express affection, care or concern for another person with physical touch as an adult outside the immediate family. There are healing touches by Doctor's, but so often they are supposed to remain distant and scientific to keep from giving off the wrong impression. Pastor's often hold hands with someone or place a hand on their shoulder when praying, but they have to be very careful about lingering too long or crossing boundaries. Adults have to be so careful about touching other people's children... and some need to be careful about how they touch their own. I am not saying that we shouldn't be careful about this issue. And I mourn with those who may never experience physical touch in a positive way because of their experiences of sexual abuse or violence.

I do think, though, that we have lost something in our society. I think somehow touch has become almost exclusively equated with sex and violence in our society. We have lost the sense of touch as healing and intimacy. Not completely. But close to it... I think we could learn from our brothers and sisters around the world who express friendship a bit differently. Men who hug and women who hold hands. Those who greet each other with a kiss on the cheek. I think there can be something healing in healthy appropriate physical touch from another person. I know I have appreciated attending a church where hugs are a normal part of the morning service. Perhaps there is something about a healing touch that allows us to also be a bit of the light of the world.

Night and Day

2011-03-28T20:01:00.000-07:00

Our text for this week is the healing of a man born blind and the ensuing controversy among with the Pharisees that follows in John 9. The text begins with the disciples asking whose sin caused this man to be born blind. Jesus responds, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned; he was born blind so that God's works might be revealed in him. We must work the works of the one who sent me while it is day; night is coming when no one can work."

Now to be honest, it is not an easy thing for me to think of God allowing someone to be born blind so that God's works might be revealed. But perhaps that is a question for another day. And perhaps it speaks more to my own fears of blindness than to anything else.

My picture for today was intended to reflect the idea of having to work "while it is day." As I am reflecting on that phrase, I find myself quite resistant to what it might mean. It suggests an urgency to God's mission. It suggests an end point, a night fall, a period when the mission is no longer possible... I don't really like to think about that. I prefer to think that I have all the time in the world to get things right, to straighten things out, to say the things that need to be said. But that just isn't true, is it? There are end points in life. People die. People grow old and opportunities begin to fade away. People run out of time for health or child birth or healing of relationships or careers and callings.

I say all this not to be pessimistic, though that is at times in my nature, but to help myself come to grips with the limits in my life. They are not a bad thing. Just a part of being human. And they should push us to live each day with a bit more intentionality, to make choices that reflect our priorities and values, to stop putting off for today what may not be possible tomorrow. What are the works that I am called to do while it is day? What have I been sent for?

Jesus... that's close enough

2011-03-26T19:07:00.000-07:00

I don't know if you have ever been at a point in your life when God seems to be drawing closer... not in a good "I feel the warmth of God's presence" kind of way... not a comfort in grief or a growing sense of your relationship with God. But God wanting to step across another internal boundary in your life. God wanting to help you grow and deepen and become more whole and human. But in order to do so, you have to let God in even deeper, perhaps to places you have kept sealed up for a long time, perhaps to places you didn't realize even existed.

I feel like I am nearing one of those moments... and it feels a bit like I imagine the woman at the well felt when Jesus said to her, "Go and get your husband..." Of course for the woman at the well it was a complete stranger suddenly delving into her personal life. Who then proceeds to dive in even deeper as he reveals that she has had five husbands and is currently living with another man. I imagine that could not have been very comfortable for her. Though she may be much more secure than I am.

I know that I need to push forward... or, perhaps more accurately, allow God to keep pushing forward. I know that God welcomes my questioning. At least Jesus seemed to welcome the woman at the well's numerous questions throughout the encounter. I know that God moves slowly, often revealing only the truth we can handle at the moment and waiting for us to begin to grasp the deeper truth. Mostly I know what is waiting on the other side. That spring of living water that is promised. That gift that allows you to never be thirsty again. The spring welling up to eternal life. The presence of the Holy Spirit. My God grant me the courage, this Lenten season, to continue to remain open as God moves deeper into my life.

Are Boundaries Good or Bad?

2011-03-25T20:12:00.000-07:00

Wow... I started writing a short post on the boundary crossings that take place in the story of the woman at the well and a few pages later still hadn't gotten anywhere. There is so much to say about boundary crossings and they are so tricky! So often boundaries are crossed in ways that do violence to another person. So often boundaries are set up to exclude or demean others... or to make ourselves feel better about ourselves. So often we pretend to cross boundaries for the good of another person (or people group or nation), when we are actually doing it to meet some need of our own. And of course, there are those people who have no boundaries, who have lost any sense of self and have become enmeshed with everyone around them.

I'm not sure this text helps us to sort through our boundary issues. Jesus seems to cross all sorts of boundaries regarding race, gender, and religion with the woman at the well. The woman seems to cross several boundaries herself, responding to Jesus' questions with her own questions and leading him into a deep theological discussion. A discussion which she then shares with the rest of her community. There are times when boundary crossing can be deeply healing and meaningful. Boundary crossing can be a way not of demeaning or overpowering another, but of recognizing the worth and humanity of another.

But my own challenge for this week? I have very high boundaries in my life... mostly for very good reasons. It has served me well in my role as a pastor and former dean of students. It has not served me quite as well in my personal life. How do I find a way to allow my boundaries to more fully reflect the community that God has called me to? How do I find a way to shift my boundaries a bit so they remain strong but also healthy and permeable when needed?

Why Do I Still Thirst?

2011-03-24T19:32:00.000-07:00

So, the picture for today isn't that great. As I was taking it, the battery on my camera died. And, of course, the spare batteries are currently being used elsewhere. Oh, and the battery on my computer is dying. And, if I could find my cell phone, which at the moment I cannot, I'm sure that battery would be dying to. And I am feeling quite depleted today. Spent 2 1/2 days doing some vocational discernment. I feel a bit dried up and worn out.

But to the passage for today... John 4:14, "but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give shall never thirst, but the water that I give shall become in them a well of water springing up into eternal life."

Um... God? Did I miss something? Am I not supposed to be feeling this way? Am I always supposed to be filled to the brim emotionally and spiritually? But why does my spiritual life feel like a pitcher of water that constantly needs to be refilled? Why do I sometimes wonder if my spiritual well is cracked and leaking?

I'm not sure I have any good answers. I wonder if perhaps the goal is not to be filled all the time, but simply to be something the living water can flow through. We are not to be a well that fills up spiritually and then becomes stagnant. We are to be fountain that allows the living water of the Holy Spirit to spring up and overflow.

Though, perhaps even more to the point... maybe I am thirsty because I keep asking for the wrong water. Maybe I keep dipping into Jacob's well instead of turning to the one who created the water in the first place.

Where Should I Worship?

2011-03-23T18:58:00.000-07:00

The Samaritan woman at the well, after hearing Jesus tell her everything about herself, decides that Jesus is a prophet. And if he is a prophet, he must be sent by God. So, she wants to know where she should go to worship God. The Jews and the Samaritans disagreed about this. The Samaritans thought there was a holy mountain. The Jews argued that one must worship in Jerusalem. Jesus had other plans. With the coming of Christ, everything would change. The God who had chosen to dwell in the tabernacle and the temple, the God whose presence was in the Holy of Holies, would break forth in Spirit and be worshiped everywhere.

I wonder if at times we have come to associate God too much with a particular place. I wonder if church has for many of us become a holy mountain or a Jerusalem. I wonder if we think we must go somewhere to meet God. Sometimes I wonder if we wouldn't all be better off if the pews were empty a little more often as we recognized God's presence everywhere.

On the other hand, I also wonder if sometimes we go to places where God is present without ever truly seeking God. The Samaritan woman's questions were the stirrings of someone who had recognized God at work and wanted to respond in worship. When I see God work, how to I respond? Does it drive me to worship? Not necessarily to a place, but at least to a posture?

Sharing A Cup

2011-03-22T18:21:00.000-07:00

"Give me a drink," Jesus says to the Samaritan woman. A simple request. He is sitting by a well, thirsty from his travels, water just a few feet away, but no bucket to get at it. It feels a bit like we are back in the wilderness with Satan tempting Jesus to turn these rocks into stone. But know, Jesus chooses to ask someone for help... a Samaritan no less, someone who would make him unclean... and a woman... two strikes... oh, and living with a man who is not her husband! Jesus really can pick 'em, can't he?

I find it fascinating that Jesus' first words of witness to this woman are not about the living water he provides or about her sinfulness or about the right place to worship... he gets to all of that eventually... rather his first words are a request. A request that makes Jesus vulnerable to this woman, to her "uncleanliness" (in the Biblical sense, of course!) and leaves him indebted to her.

What can this passage teach us about evangelism? What might it mean to approach others not with something to offer, but showing our need? What might it mean to approach the world with a realization that we must rely upon one another? That each person has something valuable to contribute? What might it mean to have acts of service and mercy not be about reaching down to others? But reaching across to them? And being willing to share a cup with them?

What if evangelism begins not with an answer, but with a question?

Put Your Erasers Down

2011-03-21T19:36:00.000-07:00

I had this great idea... take a picture of one of my journal entries to represent Jesus speaking to the Samaritan woman at the well and telling her everything that she ever did (John 4:39), because Jesus already knows all that is written in them.

Well, I looked at the first pictures and realized that I better start erasing some of the words to protect the innocent (well, at least my innocence!). Eventually, though, I was erasing whole lines and then whole paragraphs! I had to spend several minutes going through my journals to find a few pages that I would be willing to reveal.. well, for the most part.

I was struck through this process by the incredible vulnerability that the woman must have felt. Jesus looking into her soul and naming the one thing she was perhaps most ashamed of. Amazingly, she does not respond with shame or fear or anger. Instead, she recognizes Jesus as a prophet and asks where she should worship God. I have a lot to learn from this woman. That standing open and vulnerable before God is not something to fear or avoid... but rather when we allow Jesus to peer into the corners of our heart and mind, when Jesus tells us who we... those are the moments when we see most clearly who our God is, our omniscient, holy, and grace-filled God.

To Much Information?

2011-03-19T18:53:00.000-07:00

I know it is a bit early in the Lenten season for the cross... but I can't stop thinking about the fact that Peter, James, and John, when they looked at all Jesus was going through before the crucifixion, and then to see Jesus on the cross (at least I think they saw him there)... of all the disciples, of all those who witnessed what was happening, they had been the ones just days or weeks before to see how glorious Jesus truly was. They must have known, perhaps in a deeper way than the others, that God's son had just been killed. And Peter... with that knowledge, with that glorious image of Christ on the mountaintop at the crucifixion in his head. Can you imagine the weight of guilt when he denied him three times?

Would it have been better if they had never known? If Christ had waited to reveal himself until the resurrection? Looking back, would they have wished the transfiguration never happened?

There are times in my life when I wish I didn't know God so well. Times when in my doubts and struggles with God, in my anger and frustration with the world around me, I think how much easier it would be to walk away. There are days when my faith seems to difficult to bear, when the weight of racism and sexism and all of those other oppressions that have woven themselves into the fabric of the church is overwhelming and I wish I could walk away.

Most of the time, however, I am thankful for the glimpses of God that I have received. I am grateful that the Holy Spirit enable faith and this connection with God that is beyond understanding. And I rejoice that even in my darkest days, I can't seem to let go. I think that is what transfiguration moments are all about. They are glimpses of God's glory that get us through the tough times. For although Peter, James and John knew that God's son was being crucified, they also knew that he existed and had walked with them and talked with them. And perhaps the transfiguration was what enabled them to get through it. To have that slim thread of hope that caused them to run to the tomb when Mary told them the body was missing.

If we only knew...

2011-03-18T18:31:00.000-07:00

Up in the corner of one of my closets sits an old silver goblet. Well, age is all relative. It is as old as I am. It is tarnished. It is unused. It is about the only antique I have. One glance at it and you would probably pass it over. But hidden on the back is an engraving of my name. It was a gift to my parents when I was born (I think...)

Jesus was not so old, but he may have looked at bit run down and tarnished after three years of intense ministry, walking from city to city, managing a group of unruly disciples, being pursued by crowds seeking healings and miracles. What he did was quite fantastic, but if you hadn't heard the stories or seen the miracles, he probably looked just like any other guy. Quite unremarkable.

But then, on this one day, he takes a few friends up to the top of a mountain and gives them a little peek. Underneath all that humanity was the glory of God shining through (all right... not the most accurate theological language for the incarnation, but you get the point) I wonder if people would have treated Jesus any differently had they known? I wonder, if I came face to face with God's glory for a moment, if it would change how I treat God? Do I treat God like an old family heirloom or antique that I leave hidden up in a closet? Or do I cherish God knowing God's full worth?

Transformed or Transfigured?

2011-03-17T18:46:00.000-07:00

So, I've tried to start this post several times, written a few sentences, and then gone back and erased it all only to start over again and do the same thing once again. In my mind, as I've been thinking about the transfiguration, I've been thinking about the subtle ways we try to transform ourselves. For women, especially, the concern we have about hair and make up and clothing. We transform ourselves to stand out and to fit in and to be accepted and to keep people away. As I am writing, I am realizing how many of our attempts at self-transformation, which so often involved hiding who we truly are, actually end up revealing our true selves. Our attempts at transformation reveal our insecurities and self-perceived flaws.

What does this have to do with the transfiguration? Maybe nothing... but maybe it can help me think about the difference between transformation and transfiguration, at least in the way I am using these terms today. Transformation seems to be about changing who you are. Transfiguration, at least in the sense of Jesus' glorious appearance on a mountain top, seems to be more about revealing who you are.

Jesus was, at his core, not only fully human, but fully divine. And that was revealed on the mountaintop that day. The full divinity of Christ shining through. We are, at our core, created in the image of this glorious God. Perhaps I should stop trying so hard to transform who I think I am and embrace who I was created to be. Perhaps by embracing the image of God within my life, perhaps there will be glimpses of transfiguration that allow the glory of God to shine through.

False Advertising?

2011-03-16T20:35:00.000-07:00

Gas stations seem to be getting more and more creative in how they post their gas prices. Remember the days when only one price was listed? Nowadays there is a cash price, a credit price, a car wash discount price, and for this place a "cash card" price. You have to read carefully to understand just what you are getting.

Now I would never accuse God of false advertising... or even trying to lure us in with cheap prices with all sorts of strings attached. God just isn't like that. In fact, God is very much the opposite. With Jesus, you usually get more than you paid for. A better deal than you anticipated. Granted, the price was very high...

And yet there is something about the transfiguration, something that reveals that Jesus was not exactly what everyone expected. There was a part of Jesus that remained hidden. A side that he didn't want fully revealed until the right time. Jesus was very intentional about how and when he revealed his divine nature. Only a few witnessed the transfiguration. Others witnesses miracles, but only specific miracles. Miracles that pointed to the presence of the kingdom of God in specific ways.

Jesus did not want to draw people to himself with spectacular promises or with a charismatic personality. He didn't want people to follow him because he was some sort of magician or miracle worker. He wanted people to look at him and see the kingdom of God.

Do we do the same as the church? Or do we try to offer cheap prices with all sorts of strings attached?

Just Five More Minutes...

2011-03-15T19:36:00.000-07:00

My image from yesterday still has me thinking. One of the dangers of the transfiguration is that we can be so overwhelmed by the glory of God that we become frozen in place. We want to preserve the moment and fail to bring the kingdom down from the mountaintop.

I don't have a lot of transfiguration moments in my life... my danger is not to fail to come down from the mountaintop. It's more basic than that. My danger is just trying to get out of bed in the morning. Now it has nothing to do with being depressed... I just really like sleeping. And beds are comfortable and cozy, especially during the cold winter. And a good dream... I would much rather live in my little dreamworld than out in the real world.

And perhaps that is one of the messages of the transfiguration. We can't live in our little dream worlds. Not even our little Christian bubble worlds. We can't live in a world that avoids the reality of what is out there. God wants us to get out of bed, stop hitting the snooze button, climb down off the mountaintop... and live.

Savoring the Moment

2011-03-14T19:51:00.000-07:00

There are two options for the lectionary text for this coming Sunday. At our church we'll be focusing on Matthew 17:1-13, the Transfiguration. I'm sure throughout the week I'll reflect more on the connections and contrasts between this text and the wilderness temptation from this past week. For today, though, simply a focus on the glory of the moment. If you can imagine it, just you and a few friends on a mountaintop with Jesus in all his glory. "His face shone like the sun, and his clothes became dazzling white." Of course Peter wanted to preserve the moment, to build a shelter and stay there. To bask in the light of his glory. To experience the holiness of God.

I know that if I keep reading I'll have to follow Peter down the mountain. I know that we were not meant to simply bask in this glory forever. But for now, for this day, I think I'll just look on the beauty and holiness of our God. Just for a minute. I know, not too long... I know there is work to do in this world. I know that for the moment we are only allowed glimpses of the kingdom. But someday... someday we'll be able to stand in God's presence. Someday we will be able to simply dwell in the glory of the Lord.

Follow You Where?

2011-03-12T21:02:00.000-08:00

Uh... Lord... I don't think I want to follow you out into the wilderness today. I'm not sure what's out there...

Well, that's not exactly true. I'm pretty sure I have a good idea what's out there. My fears and my anxieties. My doubts and insecurities. My deepest longings. I don't think I really want to face those right now. I know it's Lent. I know it is time for repentance and reflection. But can't it wait until another day?

Oh... it can't really wait? If I want to find you I'll have to go out there? Right now? Oh Lord, give me courage to follow you on this Lenten journey.

Urban Wilderness

2011-03-11T17:36:00.001-08:00

I've been playing around in my mind with this idea of wilderness all day. I was thinking about those who live in the wilderness all the time. Those who live in poverty, in abusive relationships, in war torn countries. Those who are faced with racism and sexism and ageism regularly. Okay, so those are all very different types of wilderness... but all of them involved being tempted on a regular basis. When faced with the evil and hatred in the world, with the inequality and unfairness of it all, we are tempted to respond in kind. For it can be difficult to remember the grace of God in those moments.

When I think of these others types of wildernesses, I often think of the city more than the desert. I think of urban decay and overcrowded communities. I think of the economic inequality so present in a single city block. But then I had to stop myself short...

In scripture, the wilderness is a place of temptation, but it is rarely a place of punishment. Jesus was not sent out into the wilderness for some sin. Israel first heads to the wilderness to escape slavery, not to enter into it. The wilderness is not just a place where temptation lurks. The wilderness is a place where God is present. Where one's faith is refined. Where God purifies us and prepares us. Moses sat up on a mountaintop of wilderness for 40 days and 40 nights... in the midst of God's glory.

I need to rethink how I interpret wilderness... and the city... and places of war and poverty. I seem to flee them, but I wonder... I wonder if I need to move into them more fully in order to truly find God?

The Wilderness Comes to Us

2011-03-10T19:13:00.001-08:00

This coming Sunday's lectionary text is from Matt. 4:1-11, Jesus being tempted in the wilderness. Since I am preaching this Sunday, I have been thinking a lot about this idea of wilderness during the week. In the story, Jesus is led out into the wilderness. In fact most wilderness experiences in scripture seem to be about people (Israel, Moses, Jesus, etc.) being led out into the wilderness. It is there that they are tested, tempted, shaped and formed.

For me, though, Lent is not about being led into the wilderness. Instead, Lent is more about realizing the ways the wilderness has made its way into my life. Where are the cracks and crevices that vines of anger or jealousy have taken hold? How have I allowed greed or over-consumption to creep in? When have I abided in vines other than Christ? Where have I grafted myself into the promises of this world rather than the promises of God?

Lent is a time for pruning, for cutting back... it is a time for pulling down those vines of sin that have wound their way into our lives. I know sometimes it is difficult to separate them from the rest of our lives. They blend in, cling on, become a part of us. But may God reveal them to us throughout this season as we prepare once again to celebrate the one who makes our restoration a possibility.

Turning Palms Into Ash

2011-03-09T12:05:00.000-08:00

Hello again! As many of you know, we are entering again into the season of Lent, one of the two season in the church year where I post a daily photo devotional. I have over the years posted random photos with reflections, posted photos taken each and every day, posted photos related to the lectionary readings for the season. This year I will be attempting to post at least six days a week. I do need one day of Sabbath in there! There will be a photo taken sometime during the season each day, though I cannot promise that it will have been taken that day. And, the reflections will connect with the season and/or the lectionary text for the following Sunday. If you would like to join me, I'd love to hear your reflections and see your photos as well!

And so... we are off.

Turning Palms Into Ash
Last year, for some reason, I kept a few palms from our Palm Sunday service at Sojourner. I had remembered that the ashes for Ash Wednesday are often made from the palms used the previous year. And so... I kept three branches, just in case I was still at my church in a year. No, I was not being paranoid or pessimistic about my calling. It is simply that I had been hired as an interim pastor for six months... that extended into over a year.

I never did burn those branches. Did you know that it is a long tedious process! That it can take a bucket full of branches to make one small container of ash? That palms do not burn easily, but need to be nursed and stirred and perhaps soaked with a little alcohol? That once you burn them down, you still need to grind them and sift them and mix them with oil in order to make them usable for the service?

Now, I did have all the supplies, but a friend at a large nearby church had some extra ashes and graciously offered to share them. I don't think it is liturgically incorrect to share ashes, do you?

The point, really, is not the borrowing of the ashes, but the process itself. Palms are difficult to burn. Much like our sins. Much like the sins of our culture and society. Much like our idolatry and false hopes. Much like our misconceptions about who God is supposed to be... Palms, representing a people ready to follow a king, but not all the way to the cross. Those palms, are difficult to burn.

During this Lenten season, may we have the patient to burn those palm branches, to lay them on the altar and offer them... our sins, our misconceptions, our lack of faith... to stir them in reflection and repentance. Knowing that palms, once burned, become the ash that symbolize the promise of God's refining fire in our lives.

Driving Home Christmas Eve...

2010-12-24T20:43:00.000-08:00

I know that for those who have been pastors for a long time, Christmas may seem like a lot of work. There are so many extra services and pastoral care issues. You don't get to take time off like everyone else. You have to lead the worship services where everyone else celebrates.

Well... it has been a bit of a different experience for me. It is only my first year as a senior pastor. It is a small church. There have certainly been a fair share of pastoral care issues. But we have less services than normal. Most people are out of town. But that is not why it has been a different experience. It is simply the fact that I have had to lead worship... and so I have had to focus continually on the spiritual aspects of the season. And the fact that I chose to step out of my normal Christmas routine and found myself embraced by a new church family as well as my old one.

So, instead of a reflection, this is a thank you. A thank you to my church and to God for shaking things up a bit this year. God tends to do that, doesn't God?

Hey... focus on the donkey!

2010-12-23T20:27:00.000-08:00

So, I was hoping to take one of those cool shots with the donkey in sharp focus leaving the background fuzzy and distant. But, unfortunately I just have a little point and shoot digital camera. Such images are rare serendipitous moments with this little camera.

But maybe... maybe the image is more appropriate for the season. We focus on what is happening in the background, on Mary and Joseph, on the birth of Jesus, just quickly glancing at the donkey before moving to the main event. But, as we've been talking about, the season is just as much about the journey as the main event. It is about the preparation, the prophecies, the pronouncements, the pregnancies (wow... those would have been great alliterations for a sermon! I'll have to remember them!)

Talking with several friends who, like me, have been on long journeys whether towards employment or vocational clarity, marriage or pregnancy, physical health or emotional recovery, Christmas is either a time to celebrate having reached a destination or a reminder that while the Christmas journey has come to an end, our own journey's continue for another year. They tell us that we should enjoy the journey, learn from the journey, listen to what God might have for us in the midst of waiting. And they are right, for the most part. But everything in our culture is about making the journey as short as possible or avoiding it all together. Be fast and efficient. Take the quick fix. Find the short cut. And we done something similar with Christmas. Squeezed a nine month long pregnancy into a four week advent season.

Perhaps we should extend the journey to Christmas a bit longer... perhaps we should try to remain on this journey. Or at the least, let's celebrate the donkey, our mascot for the journey, the one who carries us through the desert as we wait for God's word to be fulfilled in our lives.

A Bit Out of Focus

2010-12-22T19:10:00.000-08:00

So, lest you think that just because I post these spiritual reflections I am always focused on Christ this season, today is a day for a bit of confession. To be honest, I'm a mess around the holidays. I'm cranky. I'm ungrateful. I don't like hardly any of the gifts I receive. (Of course, this year has been different!) I always feel lonely. And for the most part, I focus on all the things that I don't have. I focus on the way my grown up Christmases are not the way I expected them to be. I get jealous of my relatives. I can be miserable to be with. Everything seems to get out of focus fairly regularly during the holidays.

I post... because it helps me to stay a bit more focused. I post... as a statement of faith. Not exactly what I feel at the moment, but what I know to be true, what I am trying to cling to. I post... because it means that everyday I have to look at the biblical texts for the week. I post... because even though I know that most of you would not really care that much, I would feel guilty if I didn't follow through on this public commitment. And I post... because it helps me to give throughout the Christmas season. So, to all of you who read this... even if it is only once or twice during the season... thank you. Thank you for helping me to stay focused.

A Light in the Darkness

2010-12-21T20:19:00.000-08:00

Every year, it seems, I try and take a picture of "a light in the darkness." It is such a central theme of Advent. One that we continue to carry one, even if it's true meaning is often lost in translation. But still... the Christmas lights in front of a house, the lights on the Christmas tree, the candles, the stars... All of them remind us of the hope that comes with a light in the darkness. Of the joy or comfort it can bring.

It is interesting to consider, though, how we have filled our world with false light. With neon signs and computer screens. With street lights and cell phones. It is difficult to find true darkness any more... None of these things in themselves are necessarily bad, but they so often distract us from the true light. And when you through in the light of celebrities, fame, fortune, success... we are blinded in our attempts to find the light and somehow end up more like a moth to a flame.

During these last few days of Advent, may we be able to tell the difference between the true light and our false imitations. May we perhaps for a moment shut off the cell phones and computers, the television screens and video game... May we turn away from the neon lights of the shopping malls and the decorations celebrating a holiday that often forgets its true meaning... may we allow ourselves just a moment of darkness so that we can be reminded again what true light looks like.

Without Fear

2010-12-20T19:43:00.000-08:00

I mentioned in my last post that my friend Ileana and I headed down to the lake on Sunday to check out the winter scenery. It was freezing! Literally... temperatures well below 32 degrees. It was crazy, but with the right equipment... boots, coats, hats, gloves, scarves, we went without fear into the cold. Of course, we didn't stay too long. Our equipment was only good up to a point. And then toes and cheeks and fingers started to go numb and we quickly hurried back to the car for warmth.

In order to head out into the cold without fear, we must put on layers. We must bundle up and hide ourselves under heavy parkas and thick boots. We do all that we can to ensure that our skin does not come into contact with the cold, to ensure that we won't be hurt by the dangerous temperatures.

Our life with God is actually just the opposite. In order to draw near to God, into the holiness of God... not freezing, but often pictured as a consuming fire... we don't need to put on protective gear. We don't need the right equipment. We don't need fire proof suits and flame retardant gloves. Instead, we need to take off the layers of self-protection and sin, the layers of guilt and insecurity. We need to lay ourselves bare before God.

Zechariah, in Luke 1:77, describes it as gaining the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of sins. In pealing away the layers of sin and guilt, we open ourselves up to receive the salvation offered by Christ. We allow Christ to be a light in the darkness and to guide us into the way of peace.

The purpose of this forgiveness, of this salvation? That we may serve God without fear, in holiness and righteousness (Luke 1:74-75). During this Advent season, may we be overwhelmed by the holiness of our God. May we quake just a little in fear. For God has come among us. We are in danger of being consumed. But thanks be to God for the offer of forgiveness that allows us to approach the holy throne.

Crashing In

2010-12-19T19:15:00.000-08:00

I finally made it down to the lake to check out the ice and snow this afternoon. It was pretty amazing. Waves had washed up over the retaining wall and onto the pathway beyond. The water coated even the dead grass with layers of ice.

What does this have to do with Advent? Not much, I'm afraid. Just the beauty of the season. Just taking a moment to reflect on the power and creativity of our God. Perhaps... perhaps you might argue that such a moment is a stepping out of the normal holiday routine, stepping out of the busyness, and pausing to be overwhelmed again with God's presence.

And perhaps I'll take a leap here... I preached this morning about the need for John the Baptist to crash into our Christmas celebrations, to knock over the Christmas tree, the step on a few packages, interrupt our singing. To declare, in the midst of all the holiday hoopla, "Repent! Believe! Prepare the way for the Lord!" As the waves crashed over the walls and pathways along the lake, so John the Baptist crashes over Christmas calling us to remember that it is all about the coming king.

Promises, Promises...

2010-12-18T18:53:00.000-08:00

No, no, no... take a closer look. It is not a ring. Are you kidding? I can't remember the last time I was on a date... but that is for another post.

Does anyone actually tie a piece of string to their finger to remember something anymore? Now we have cell phones and PDA's and computers with built in electronic bells and whistles to remind us that we need to be somewhere. To help us remember. To help us to keep our promises.

Keeping promises... that seems to be central to Zechariah's idea of who God is. God is the one who fulfilled the promises made by the angel that Zechariah's wife would have a child in her old age. But more importantly, God is the one kept his promise to Israel. God is the one who has raised up a mighty savior just as God promised through the prophets. God is the one who shows mercy as promised to Zechariah's ancestors. God is the one who keeps oaths and honors covenants. God does not forget. God does not fail. God is faithful to do all that God promises.

Of course, it is always in God's timing... and it rarely looks like we expect it to. Who would have thought that the savior of the world would come as a little baby? Or that the kingdom of God would be something that grows over time like leaven? But... it was a pretty big promise that God kept that first Christmas Day... sending a son into this world, coming as one of us. A pretty big promise... Big enough to make me think that God keeps all that God promises.

For those of you who are doubting God's presence and God's promise this Advent season, imaging that God has a million fingers and on each one of them is a bit of string and on one of those strings is your name. God does not forget you. God is faithful.

Goo Be Gone...

2010-12-17T19:54:00.000-08:00

You know, the more I read the Bible, the more impressed I am with the authors. It's as if they were guided by the Holy Spirit or something! As you probably know by now, my church has been focusing for quite a while on the book of Luke. And for the last month we have been in Chapter 1. Yes... I said that for the last month we have been in Chapter 1. Our entire Advent season has focused on the birth narratives of John the Baptist and Jesus found in that extremely long chapter.

As a church in the midst of revitalization, we have been talking a lot about who we are and what God has for us over the past several months. But for Advent, we have simply been trying to listen, to prepare, to open our hearts to what God might have next for our little congregation. But how, exactly, do you do that?

Such preparation involves prayer, reading scripture, developing true community, opening your hearts to the needs of the world around you, looking for where God might be at work. But it seems during this Advent season I have been led to focus on John the Baptist's message... that salvation comes through the forgiveness of sins. It comes through the nine months of listening after doubting God's word. It comes as a nation turns its heart back to the God who called them out of darkness. It comes as God's people seek to once again live out the Covenant God laid before them.

It comes from giving ourselves a good cleaning, inside and out. And that can take scrubbing, reaching into dark and dingy corners, peeling back hidden layers and forgotten messes.

May God give us the courage to continue to prepare our hearts this Advent season and to hear the words of John the Baptist, the promise that salvation comes through the forgiveness of sins.

A Day of Silence

2010-12-16T19:08:00.000-08:00

A day of silence in honor of Zechariah... looking up to the heavens and pondering what God would have us learn during this Advent season.

A Silent Winter

2010-12-15T19:12:00.000-08:00

The leaves are gone. The tree lays bare. There is little apparent growth as it lays dormant for the long winter ahead. Yet life is there, present. Healing, growth, and revitalization are taking place in the silent winter.

Zechariah faced a much longer silent winter. For nine months he could not speak. Some speculate that he could not hear either. It had happened suddenly one holy day. He was serving as the high priest leading worship when an angel appeared and let him know that even though he and his wife were well along in years, they were about to have a baby boy. Zechariah doubted the word from God and was struck mute... with nine months to ponder his doubts. Nine months to lay dormant, with little growth appearing on the surface, but inside Zechariah was growing and changing. So much so that upon the birth of his son, before he could speak, he made sure that the baby was named as the angel had said. And with that one act of faith and obedience, Zechariah's speech was restored.

We all make mistakes. Some of them big ones. We all doubt at times. And there are times there are consequences for our actions. There are times when God silences us for a while. Takes us out of the game. Asks us to sit on the sidelines for a few months. But it is not permanent. It is not necessarily a punishment. It is more of an opportunity. A chance to regroup, to ponder our faith, to restore our soul. And at the right time, we are restored. Our voice returns. And we, like Zechariah, sing forth praise to God

Bringin' Em Down

2010-12-14T18:47:00.001-08:00

The God that Mary sings about in Luke is one of justice and mercy. This God brings down the powerful, lifts up the humble, feeds the hungry, but sends the rich away empty handed. When I first think about such power, I think of mighty wars and battles. I think of weapons and armor. But God is so much more subtle than that. God does not work the way we do. God doesn't need powerful weapons to take out the powerful. God just needs a little snow, a little ice, maybe a trickle of water eroding the rocks on a hillside, a small microbe that can wipe out an army. God has so many ways of reminding us of God's power.

To be honest, I don't always understand God's power and justice. At times, it seems that God's justice takes far too long. At other times, God's power seems to hurt those who are most in need of justice. And the powerful and rich seem to remain just where they are. Actually, the Jewish people may have felt a similar way just about the time of Jesus' birth. They had been under the power of Rome for far too long. There seemed to be injustice everywhere. And there had been no word from God in a long time.

The people were waiting for a Messiah, for someone to rescue them. They were hoping for a king, an army, a ruler. But, of course, God came in an unexpected way and brought justice in a manner that no one could have predicted. A little baby, born to a young girl, in small town, to working class parents... And with that promise, Mary declares here faith again in the power of God to save.

Good Pride and Bad Pride

2010-12-13T18:31:00.000-08:00

As Mary sings her song of praise to God, she declares, "God has shown strength with God's arm; God has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts." (Luke 1:51)

Does this mean that God makes those of us who are too proud a bit scatter brained... or scatter hearted?
I was reflecting on what it means for God to scatter those who are too proud. Or, to be more honest, I was reflecting on whether or not my own pride was enough for God to want to scatter me. And my reflections led me to consider what I had on and around my desk. As a congregational studies major, one of the things I have learned to do is analyze space. One walks into a church building and begins to observe who or what is given the most prominent space. What does the church convey about what it believes and what it values simply by its architecture, interior decorating, and layout? In the same way, what does my desk say about what I value? What I am proud of?

Now, it should be noted that at the moment my desk fills up the dining room of my little house. That in itself tells you something... no dining room table, but a desk that covers two walls! And on one of the walls over my desk hang two of my diplomas. My bachelor's degree in engineering is no where to be found. But my master's degree and PhD feature prominently. They are definitely things I am proud of... as I should be. But when does that pride spill over into something that God would not be proud of in me?

What is it in your life you are proud of? Perhaps the following questions, questions that I seem to need to ask myself on a regular basis, will help you to figure out if it is good pride or bad pride...

Do you think it is something you did all by yourself? Or do you constantly remember God's provision and guidance in it?

Does it make you feel better than other people? Thankful that you are not like other people? Or do you see it as a gift and do you believe that God gives gifts of equal value to everyone?

Is it something you hide or hoard away? Or is it something you share with the world?

Is it something that you feel you have a right to or are entitled to?... actually, this is at the heart of the matter isn't it. Does it make you act as if you are entitled? And if you have no idea what I am talking about, you should probably find someone to ask. Someone who is older and wiser. Or someone who is not as powerful as you are. Someone who works for you or serves you in some way.

The opposite of proud is not, I don't think, lack of self-esteem. I think the opposite of proud is grateful, thankful, humble, servant-like. God scatters those who believe they are entitle to more than others in this world. But God lifts up the lowly.

May Advent help us to enter into Christmas with an attitude of thankfulness rather than entitlement. Grateful for all that God has already done for us and continues to provide.

Hail Mary, Full of Grace

2010-12-12T19:26:00.000-08:00

When I was a child growing up in the Catholic church, I knew two prayers: The Lord's Prayer and Hail Mary. I knew that the Lord's prayer was from scripture, but I never really understood that the Hail Mary came straight from scripture as well:

Hail Mary, full of grace.
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God,
Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

Well, at least the first half comes from right from Luke. Elizabeth, filled with the Holy Spirit declares Mary blessed. And Mary's song tells us that all generations will call Mary blessed.

To be honest, I've had a rather mixed relationship with Mary. I no longer agree with all of what the Catholic church teaches about Mary. And, to be honest, I often don't agree with what the Protestant church teaches about Mary either. We either don't talk about Mary at all, or we portray her as some passive vessel of God. I remember being taught as a new Christian that I should be meek and quiet like Mary. I should passively submit to God and to my future husband.

But the more I read about Mary, the more I am amazed at her strength, courage, and faith. To hold fast to her story despite its impossibility. To see herself not as some object used by God, but as a servant, someone making a choice to obey. To fear and ponder and exclaim. To sing a powerful song full of God's promises. To understand herself as carrying something so mighty. And to see herself as someone who would be called blessed by all generations. It is no wonder so many around the world venerate this woman. As our preacher pointed out last Sunday and as we were reminded again this morning, Mary was the first Christian, the first to believe that Jesus was the Messiah.

Hail Mary, full of grace. The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women.
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Bringing Our Gifts

2010-12-11T18:53:00.000-08:00

I'm not feeling that great tonight... so, a picture I took a few days ago of our sanctuary decorated for Advent. It is beautiful. Filled with light. Filled with hope. Filled with expectation. All those feelings for me are evoked by the image of the star over Bethlehem, but also by our small little congregation struggling through a difficult time and yet in the midst of it all gathering faithfully to worship. In many ways, they are like the magi following the star that led them to Bethlehem. Each week they bring their gifts on Sunday morning. In a church our size, just as many people are serving as are sitting in the pews during the service. There is the worship band and the A/V crew, the scripture reader and preacher, the greeter, the coffee maker, the clean up crew, the ushers and counters, not to mention the people who built Bethlehem and set up the decorations. And this week the family lighting the Advent candle and, of course, as always, the nursery workers and Sunday School teachers. By my count, that is over 25 people. All bringing their gifts to God... not just on Christmas day, but every week. Every week gathering together under the star of Bethlehem. Beautiful.

How Do You Take A Picture of This?

2010-12-10T20:10:00.000-08:00

So, this is how I go about taking pictures each day... well, some days.

Last week at church we sang a new song by Chris Tomlin called "My Soul Magnifies the Lord." I have been singing the chorus in my head all week. I asked our worship team to sing it again this Sunday since, believe it or not, it is almost word for word out of Mary's song in Luke 1:46-49. I love when I can memorize scripture through song!

Okay, so this song has been in my head. Luke 1:46-49, Mary's song, is part of the text in our church for this coming Sunday. I want to take a picture to represent "My soul magnifies the Lord." Uh... um... what in the world does that look like?

So, I head to yourdictionary.com to look up "magnify" and find the following:
1. Rare to make greater in size, status, or importance; enlarge
2. to cause to seem greater, more important, etc. than is really so; exaggerate: to magnify one's sufferings
3. to cause to seem larger than is really so; increase the apparent size of, esp. by means of a lens or lenses
4. Archaic to glorify; praise; extol

Since I am pretty sure there is no way we can make God greater in size or importance and it would certainly be difficult to exaggerate the greatness of God, I'm going to assume that the text is using the archaic form which means to glorify; praise; or extol.

Uh... um...

Okay, to yourdictionary.com for "glorify."
1. to make glorious; give glory to
2. to exalt and honor (God), as in worship
3. to praise extravagantly; honor; extol
4. to make seem better, larger, finer, etc. than is actually the case

Again, no way to make God seem better or finer than is actually the case. But Mary does seem to praise God extravagantly. An outpouring of praise much like the woman who anointed Jesus' feet with precious oil. To be so filled with love for God, so filled with amazement at God's great works, at God's character, at who God is that it overflows in song. Song just welling up and pouring forth. I don't think worship can always be like this. Sometimes it must be an act of faithful obedience. But when it is like this... when the praise just pours forth... what a glorious experience. Ah... the word glory again.

So, what does "glory" mean?
1. great honor and admiration won by doing something important or valuable; fame; renown
2. anything bringing this worshipful adoration or praise
3. the condition of highest achievement, splendor, prosperity, etc.: Greece in her glory
4. radiant beauty or splendor; magnificence
5. heaven or the bliss of heaven
6.
7. a halo or its representation in art
8. any circle of light

Finally... at the end of the definition of glory... something I can take a picture of... a halo or its representation in art. Just like the yellow circles of light over the head of Mary and Joseph in my nativity ornament.

So, the point of today's post? To reflect on what it means to magnify the Lord. To glorify the Lord. To give glory to God. How might we allow ourselves to stop for a moment and to dwell on the great work that God has done in sending a son into the world? How might we allow our souls to be filled and to overflow with praise and thanksgiving? How may we join with Mary in magnifying the Lord?

Spirit to Spirit

2010-12-09T20:13:00.000-08:00

It seems that every time I get to these verses in Luke I want to try and take a picture of the Holy Spirit. For some reason I picture the Holy Spirit welling up in Elizabeth and crying out as Mary enters the room, "Blessed are you among women!" And sometimes I wish that still happened. Wouldn't be great if when you entered the room someone cried out, "Blessed are you among women!" Or at least, "Greetings favored child of God!" Of course, it is the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit tends to speak the truth. I'm not sure how excited I would be if I walked into the room and someone cried, "Greetings, O one who was jealous today!" Or "Blessed are you despite the fact that you weren't very nice to people today!"

But still, it does seem to me that Elizabeth is not the only one who was filled with the Holy Spirit. Have you ever met someone and felt the Spirit leap within you? I'm not talking about being attracted to someone, though at times that may be Spirit led as well. But there are times when you just see Christ in other people the way Mary saw Christ in Elizabeth. And times when people see Christ in you. There is something to the fact that as Christians we are all filled with the Holy Spirit and that Spirit connects us all with one another. We are one in the Spirit. And that Spirit cries out to itself when it recognizes the Spirit's presence in another.

I pray that this week someone will see Christ in you and that the Spirit will cry out blessings upon you. I pray that this week you will see Christ in another and that you will cry out blessings upon them as well.

In Search of Confirmation

2010-12-08T19:24:00.000-08:00

"In those days Mary set out and went with haste to a Judean town in the hill country where she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth." Luke 2:39-40

A young girl receives a visit from an angel telling her she is about to be pregnant with God's child and the first thing she does is leave home to go visit her Aunt Elizabeth. Well, at least that is the first thing we know about. I can imagine that at this point she wondered if she was a little bit crazy. Because, really, sane people are not often visited by angels. Virgins do not often find themselves pregnant. It seems a bit crazy to believe that you will be the mother of God. How in the world did Mary process all of this? But there was Elizabeth. God said that something crazy had happened to Elizabeth as well. Not quite as crazy as what was happening to her, but pretty close.

I can imagine the relief Mary felt walking into Elizabeth's house. There was her old, barren Aunt six months pregnant. And immediately Elizabeth begins confirming what God is doing in Mary's life. Maybe it wasn't a dream after all. Maybe God really does do miracles.

When God calls us, God rarely calls us alone. God always seems to place us in community or in relationships that affirm the call. God seems to provide signs along the way affirming God's presence. Calls like the one Mary received, or like a call to ministry or missions, or a call to get married or have children, or a call to a vocation or location... God grounds these types of calls in the material reality of our world. God does not leave them just inside our own heads. This does not mean, however, that we can tell when God is speaking by a majority vote. It does mean that the church always recognizes the presence of God in someone's life and work.

It does mean that Mary was in a pretty precarious position. It was possible that she was mentally unstable... if it wasn't for the proof, the baby born who would go on the give his life for the world. In the same way, there is a fine line between our own calls and insanity. Sometimes the only way to tell the difference is to wait and see.

God of the Big and Small

2010-12-07T19:43:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a lot this week about the contrast between Mary and Elizabeth. Mary was too young. Elizabeth was too old. Mary was not yet married. Elizabeth had been married for far too long. Mary was without any power. Mary was a virgin. Elizabeth was barren. Two women in many ways at opposite ends of the spectrum.

The comparison brought to mind the story of Goldilocks. You all know about Goldilocks. The young girl who breaks into the home of three bears, ransacks the place breaking furniture, eating all their food, and messing up their beds. The young girl who needs everything to be just perfect. It's too hot or too cold. It's too big or too small. Everything has to be just right.

I'm so glad God is not like Goldilocks. I'm so glad that God didn't look at Elizabeth and say, "She's too old." Or take one look at Mary and exclaim, "She's too young." And then keep looking until God found someone who was "just right." God doesn't work that way. God doesn't need us to be just the right size or shape or age. God doesn't need us to be in the right job or from the right family or have just the right set of gifts. God does not go through the world picking up this person and that saying, "This one is too big." "This one is too small." "This one is just right!" God uses all of us, vessels of all different shapes and sizes, those of us who are too big and too small, too old and too young. God uses all types of people to bring the light of Christ to the world. So don't worry... when God looks at you and considers using you for some purpose in this world... God looks at you and says "This one is just right."

Do Angels Get Confused?

2010-12-06T19:29:00.000-08:00

On Sunday morning during my children's sermon, I talked about angels being messengers from God. As the words were coming out of my mouth, I realized how little I really know about angels... at least according to what the Bible says. I know quite a bit about what the world seems to believe.

I have the images of a beautiful man or woman in white (they are always beautiful according to worldly standards for some reason). Someone who speaks on behalf of God. A guardian who protects us. I always assume that angels have it all together. I don't think much about angels worrying about how they look or whether or not they are making a difference or if they said the right thing. I don't think about angels questioning God or confused about what's going on.

But I wonder... I wonder how the angel Gabriel felt when delivering the words to Mary that God was going to come in human form. Not angelic form... but human form. And that God was going to entrust God's infant self to the young girl confused and perplexed before the angel. What weight did the messenger carry?

What was the angel thinking? To be honest, I find it incredibly comforting that the book of Luke starts off with everyone a bit confused and overwhelmed. Zechariah doubting God. Mary confused and perplexed. And I am guessing that perhaps the angels had a few questions of their own as they delivered their messages. I am comforted because I am often confused and perplexed about what God is doing in this world and why God chose to work through people like you and me. And perhaps such confusing is not a sign of a lack of faith, but instead the first step towards seeing God do a work that is more than anything we could ask or imagine.

Pregnant Expectation

2010-12-05T17:46:00.000-08:00

This afternoon I made empanadas for the first time. The particular type I made seemed to take forever to make! Well... just about 2 1/2 hours. Yes, last night I made tamales with the women from Sojourner and today empanadas. I am sure I am just proscratinating important work that needs to be done. But at least it is healthy, useful proscrastinating.

But proscrastinating is not the topic of this post. Rather it is the expectation... the pregnant expectation that accompanies waiting for something like an empanada to be born. Or, more to the point of the Advent season, the literally pregnant expectation of the young Mary for nine months. Mary was given a word from the Lord. A confusing word. A word that she most likely didn't fully understand. Our preacher for this morning at Sojourner, Una Lucey-Lee, did a great job of laying out all the rich details and allusions present in the angel Gabriel's words to Mary. It was all about the rich history of expectation for the Messiah. But Mary accepted the word, this word that she did not fully understand. She submitted herself to the Lord. As Una pointed out, she did not do so passively. She struggled and reasoned. She made a choice. And then she waited. For nine months she waited. For nine months she was pregnant with the word of God growing within her until it finally came forth on Christmas morning.

I must give most of the credit for this post to Una. It is an incredible blessing to be part of a church with such an excellent team of preachers. As a pastor, it is rare that I get to be preached to on Sunday mornings! Una challenged us this morning to consider what we might be waited for during this Advent season. What are the pregnant hopes and dreams within us this season? Perhaps more importantly, what word from the Lord have you received that is waiting pregnantly within you? What promise? What vision? What hope for you or for the world?

May we have the grace of Mary as we wait for the Word of God to be birthed through us this Advent season.

Pretty Garbage

2010-12-04T18:20:00.000-08:00

So... this is a bit less tied to the Advent text for the week, but it is what I was thinking about today. This morning we awoke to the first snowfall of the year. It was beautiful! My favorite kind of snow. The kind that sticks to everything. It is actually quite odd that we associate snow with Christmas given where Jesus' birth took place. But, still...

Snow can make anything look beautiful. Even the alley behind my house. Even the garbage cans lining the streets. Snow covers everything with a clean blanket that hides all the dents and scars and garbage in the world. At least for a little while.

We use the language of being made "as white as snow" to talk about being forgiven by God and made holy. I realize that "whiteness" is a loaded concept in our society and that all to often people connect this idea with the idea of being "white" or "caucasian." The fact of the matter is, though, we are all shades of brown, orange, green, red... God does not make us all "white." God does, however, make us as clean as fresh fallen snow.

But... I was thinking today as I was looking at my beautiful snow covered trash cans, that we often settle for a blanket of snow in our lives. We like God to just cover up the garbage. We like to look pretty to ourselves, to the church, and to the world. But God desires to do something more in our lives. God desires to make us new creatures, forgiven, holy, justified. And for that, God chose to become one of us. That is the gift that began with Jesus birth.

Holding Onto the Holy

2010-12-03T17:28:00.000-08:00

Luke 1:35... "therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God."

And you thought raising your kids was a challenge! A child holy from birth. Not just innocent. Not just perfect in the sight of their parents. But really... truly perfect. When the child Jesus wanders away from Mary and Joseph during a festival in Jerusalem and heads for the temple, what could they say? Mary and Joseph present a united front and Jesus just goes around them to a heavenly authority.

What type of person did Mary have to be? What kind of courage? What kind of self-worth? To be able to fully love her child while holding him loosely?
And who is this God of ours? Fully embodied in an innocent baby. Willing to hold on to divinity so loosely. Willing to set aside power for love?

To love what is holy... that is a challenge. To give yourself fully to one who will always be better, always be stronger, always be more perfect. To love someone whom you can only hold onto loosely.

Mary was not the only one called to love what is holy. We, too, are called to love the holy Christ child. We, too, are called to love in a way that holds others loosely while giving ourselves fully. We are to be able to love knowing that God is always present in the relationship, always a higher power that can be called upon at any moment. To love what is holy... that is the challenge of Christmas.

Odd Greetings?

2010-12-02T18:33:00.000-08:00

Luke 1:28-29 "And he (Gabriel) came to her and said, 'Greetings favored one! The Lord is with you.' But she was much perplexed by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be."

I started receiving Christmas cards this week. Of course the first included a plea for money from my college alma mater and the second was from my alderwoman. None of them have been particularly striking so far, but every once in a while I get a card that I just can't seem to figure out at all. What in the world were they trying to communicate when they picked this?

Surprisingly, this is a bit how Mary felt about the angel's greeting. She was perplexed and had to think about what the words meant. Yet the greeting, at least to me, doesn't seem that strange. In many churches, worship begins with the phrase, "The Lord is with you," and responded to with "And also with you." We assume that God is with us always and everywhere. Or at least that is what we proclaim on Sunday mornings, even if we seem to forget it during much of the week. I forget, sometimes, just how radical an idea it is that God is with us. And how much more radical it might have been for Mary. Think about the previous verses. Zechariah is a priest, one of the few people in all of Israel designated to serve in the sanctuary of the temple. One of the few people allowed to stand in God's presence. Before Christ's death on the cross, the tearing of the curtain in the temple, it was assumed that God was not always with us. At least not in the way we understand it. God was on top of the mountain, or in the inner sanctum of the temple, or present to only a few special chosen people... to the prophets and perhaps a king or two. God was not with the ordinary. It was too dangerous for God to be present all the time. The holiness would be overwhelming. It could kill you.

And yet, the angel tells the young Mary that God is with her. Not only is God with her, the power of the Most High will overshadow her. Holiness will dwell within her. And from now on, holiness will dwell with each of us.

Each season God seems to bring to mind different themes as I write these reflections. This Advent it seems to be all about the reality of God's presence with us. The overwhelming sense of the holy walking with humanity. A sense not only that God came down, but that we are more than mere flesh and blood. That there is a holiness to humanity created in God's image as we were.

God is with you this Advent season. God is with you, O favored one. May it cause us to ponder as Mary did.

(By the way, as a side note... by pop-music association for the day was Adam Ant's Goody Two Shoes... don't you just think of John the Baptist when you here the phrase "Don't drink. Don't smoke. What do you do?")

Knit Together

2010-12-01T18:53:00.000-08:00

Funny things happen when you are thinking about the days Advent text and listening to classic rock at the same time. Yesterday as I was pondering the announcement of Jesus birth to Mary by the angel Gabriel, the radio suddenly began blasting Mannfred Mann's "Blinded by the Light." Now, of course, the song is about a young woman on a drug trip. Not a good comparison to our fair Mary. And yet... I sometimes think people when people are using drugs (or drinking or doing extreme sports or extreme worship) they are seeking exactly what Mary experienced: an encounter with God, something otherworldly and overwhelming to the senses. And yet an encounter with God is not something that we can manufacture. It comes unexpectedly...

But of course that has nothing to do with today's photo. As you may know from following my blog in the past, I tend to take quite a lot of pictures of the sculptures lining McCormick Avenue. This particular one is by Andy Zimmerman. It is supposed to be the inside of a plant, but it made me think of what was happening in Mary's body as the angel announced that she would conceive a child. Something forming in her womb. Something being knit together. A seed developing. It is a bit overwhelming to consider. God did not just plant a tiny human version of God in Mary's womb. Instead, God knit God's self together with Mary. God became human and united with humanity in a deeply profound and physical way.

God may not dwell in each of us exactly the way God dwelled in Mary, but I wonder if the Holy Spirit does not knit itself into our bodies in the same way the seed of a child knits itself into its mother's womb. The Holy Spirit does not just dwell in us in the same way a person dwells in a house. Rather, the Holy Spirit becomes one with us, knits into us, unites with us. Conception takes place. A new creation is born. As I am sure was the case with Mary, and I am guessing is the case when a woman realizes she is pregnant, it is both terrifying and wonderful all at the same time. To be that close and connected with someone... to be that close to God. This Advent, may we open ourselves up to the God who has already drawn near to us, who dwells with us, and is knit into our very beings.

The Light to Come

2010-11-30T20:24:00.001-08:00

For those of you who pay attention to these things, you may have noticed that I am not following the lectionary texts this year. Our church was working through the parables in Luke (the lectionary gospel readings for most of the fall) and it felt appropriate after struggling through their meanings to return to the beginning. So, for Lent I'll be following the texts we'll be using at Sojourner Covenant Church from the first chapters of Luke throughout this season. This past Sunday we focused on the promise of John's birth to Zechariah in Luke 1:1-25. This Sunday we'll be reading from Luke 1:26-38, the announcement of Jesus' birth to Mary.

My reflections for this particular day bridge both stories... the promise of a child. Two children really. One a long awaited answer to prayer. The other an answer to prayer before its time. God can be so frustrating like that. Moving too early or waiting too long. If only the world operated in our timing... And if only the things we hoped for turned out just like we pictured them... I suppose what struck me most today from the readings was the phrase from Luke 1:14-15: "You will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord." It seems obvious at first. Of course Zechariah and Elizabeth will be ecstatic having a child after all these years of waiting. Of course the entire community will rejoice, knowing that the shame has been removed, that their priest has been justified. And yet, that is not the reason for the rejoicing. Instead, they will rejoice because John will be "great in the sight of the Lord." If I could just manage to be joyful in the things of God...

To be honest, it terrifies me to think about having a child who will be "great in the sight of the Lord." Such a child is not my own. I cannot protect such a child. Such a child will be different from others, will likely be a bit of an outsider. Such a child may face persecution. Such a child may suffer. How in the world were Zechariah and Mary able to rejoice at the news they were receiving? That their children would walk difficult paths and face much suffering?

We say that to walk with God is to be in the safest place possible. We profess that a life of faith and witness is the highest ideal. But do we really believe it? And are we willing to seek that for our children? This Advent season, will you rejoice in those who are becoming great in the sight of the Lord?

(By the way... thank you to Ileana Garcia-Soto for creating this beautiful manger that sits in front of the Bethlehem scene that will grace the altar at Sojourner throughout this season.)

A Terrifying Presence

2010-11-29T21:17:00.000-08:00

What does an angel of the Lord look like? What in the world did Zechariah see as he stood in the sanctuary of the Lord? What is it that made him terrified and overwhelmed with fear (Luke 1:13)? Advent begins with Zechariah confronted with something beyond his experience or understanding. An angel of the Lord standing before him. And then, things get even more terrifying. The angel promises something that is impossible, something that is outside the realm of human possibility, something beyond hope... And that, perhaps, is the most terrifying part of all. Zechariah is asked to hope again. Hope for something he had been longing for all his life but had most likely given up on.

The first Sunday of Advent asks us to hope. We tend to forget that hope can be a terrifying act, one that involves tremendous risk, putting your heart on the line, testing your faith and trust in God. In the Bible, hope is not just wishful thinking, or positive thinking, or some denial of the trials of life. Instead, hope is an act of faith. Hope is a clinging to the promises of God. Hope is risking a belief that what God has promised will come to pass despite all evidence to the contrary.

What do you need to risk hoping for this Advent season? What promise of God to the world do you need to be reminded of? What do you need to cling to once again? This Advent season, may God prepare your hearts again to receive the hope of the world.

Clearing A Path for Christmas

2010-11-28T18:32:00.001-08:00

I spent the first day of Advent hiking along the Natchez Trail in Nashville, TN with my family. The trail was well cleared in some areas with trees and logs freshly cut down laying along the side of the trail. Other sections were steep and rocky and we often slipped and stumbled along the way. This was partly due to the nature of the trail and partly due to the fact that I was not necessarily wearing the best hiking shoes.

Walking along the trail, I thought a lot about this Advent season. In particular, I thought about the text for this Sunday from the first chapter of Luke: the announcement of the birth of John the Baptist, the one who prepared the way for Christ. How prepared am I for the birth of Christ again during this Christmas season? What logs are lying across the road of my life right now? What needs to be cleared away? What are the things getting between me and God? Am I jealous? Greedy? Is there sin in my life? Have I stopped praying regularly? How can I once again listen to John the Baptist this Advent season and prepare a path for Christ in my life again?

Or perhaps the trail is simply rocky. There are bumps and slippery spots along the road of life. These are not simply trees that have fallen across the road and can be cleared away. These are the realities of life and I simply need good walking shoes. I need to be reading scripture, praying, spending time in worship and community, serving, giving, sharing. I need to prepare my heart to receive Christ even along the rocky path of life.

How will the paths in your life be made straight this Advent season? What logs do you need to God to clear from your life? Or what do you need to do to put on your hiking shoes?

Welcome, once again, to another season of Advent... I am planning on posting and blogging each day as part of clearing the logs in my own life. I hope they will help you do the same.

The Resurrection

2010-04-03T21:56:00.001-07:00

The Resurrection
Originally uploaded by auntjojo

Well, it is my last post for the Lenten season. A celebration of Easter and resurrection. The spring flowers reaching up to the sky. A reorientation of our hearts minds away from the sin and sorrow of Lent to the joy and light of Easter.

Yet it is not right to say that the season of Easter is all about looking up. Rather, it is about looking into the light. It is not about looking away from this world up to the heavens. Rather it is about bringing heaven down to us. It is not about escape, but about reorientation and a recognition that we are a part of something bigger than we can imagine. Perhaps that is what is best captures by this picture. Not an image of escape, but the joy of being part of something larger, of being part of the kingdom of God. The kingdom of God is real! Christ is risen. He is risen indeed.

I am of course writing this just before midnight, trying to finish my first Easter sermon for tomorrow. I really do hope that resurrection comes in the morning!

Waiting for Sunday

2010-04-02T21:05:00.001-07:00

Waiting for Sunday
Originally uploaded by auntjojo

This is the way the church will look tomorrow, Holy Saturday. Empty. Waiting. And by Sunday it will be filled with light and flowers and the laughter of a redeemed people.

We are lucky to be waiting for something. Waiting is connected with hope, something few of the disciples had. The three woman at the cross had come to finish preparing Jesus for burial. They were not waiting for the resurrection. Yet, they are faithful in following Jesus... even if that Jesus was gone. They offered their service to him, and in the midst they were confronted with a message from God.

We know about the resurrection. How much more should we be faithful in our service to the Lord?

The Light of Christ

2010-04-01T20:04:00.001-07:00

The Light of Christ
Originally uploaded by auntjojo

Good Friday... what kind of Good are we talking about? I actually hate the name. I realize that it is Good because it is part of the fulfillment of the Good News. I realize that it is Good because of what happens afterwards. But it doesn't feel that good to me. Not even eat your vegetables kind of good.

I really am a Good Friday person... mostly because I seem to be able to see so much of the sin and yuckiness in the world and for some reason I still have faith... On some days just a tentative thread of hope, but hope nonetheless. The light never seems to go out. To be honest, on some days I wish it would. Hanging on to a thread is exhausting! And yet, what would it mean to drop into the real darkness?

Now, having said all of this, I realize that my experience of sin is minimal compared to so many people in this world. What can I say to that? Only to keep holding on. I know it is painful. I'm sure your pain is more than I can imagine. But the pain means that you are alive and that you still have a bit of hope. Pain is not the same as sin. In face, pain is often a sign of life.

Good Friday... may our faith deepen as we allow ourselves to face squarely the events of that day. God will hold on to us. That thread is stronger than we imagine and at the end Christ is holding on to us.

The Cup

2010-03-31T23:09:00.001-07:00

The Cup
Originally uploaded by auntjojo

Yesterday the table. Today the cup.

The cup represents so many different things. "Take this cup from me," Jesus says. Even Jesus feeling a need for his suffering to be relieved. And even Jesus hearing a "No. There is another way" answer to his prayer. How does the saying go? God always answers prayers, just not the way we like. I have always hated that saying, but today I am reminded that Jesus understands. He felt the same way in Gethsemane.

The cup of the new covenant. "A new command I give you," says Jesus, "to love one another." It doesn't seem like such a new commandment to me. The command to love seems to have been there all along. What does it mean that the covenant was new? Was it new and improved? Or brand new out of nothing? It seems to be that the concept of a new covenant was for our benefit. It wasn't really new to God. Yet God saw how entangled our understanding of the Old Covenant had become with our sinfulness and the sinful structures of our world. And God decided to untangle it. A new covenant. Sometimes I wish God would untangle us again.

A shared cup. Jesus passes the cup to his disciples, despite their coming betrayal. A cup of grace and mercy. If only our communion cups were full of the same grace. We know just as well as Jesus that people are flawed, that we sin and hurt one another. Can we extend the same grace?

Dining with the Enemy

2010-03-30T20:49:00.001-07:00

Table for Two
Originally uploaded by auntjojo

What a confusing few days! Jesus parades into Jerusalem, the crowds calling him the next king. He storms into the temple courtyard and begins turning over the tables. So, Jesus is finally showing his power! Finally claiming his authority. Finally leading!

Um... Jesus... what are you doing down there washing my feet? What do you mean you are going to suffer? What is all this talk about death? What do you mean one of us is going to betray you?

Sitting around the dinner table, Jesus reveals that one of the disciples will betray him. I find the response rather interesting. Like a group of school children, Peter leans over to John and whispers, "You ask him." And John leans over to Jesus and whispers, "Tell us who it is." I suppose they were so trusting of one another that they could hardly believe one of their own would betray Jesus. What I don't understand is why they just let it happen. Jesus shows everyone it is Judas. Hands a piece of bread right to him (John 13.26). Why didn't the disciples grab him at that moment? Did they not believe Jesus?

Betrayal within the community of faith is so hard to deal with. We want to believe the best in each other. We want to trust one another. And of course, we must strive for that. But we cannot sit silently when sin is revealed. We cannot live in denial. In particular, I think of the incidents of domestic violence and child abuse where our desire to have faith in one another leads us to ignore the proof that something is going wrong here.

But one must also ask what happened with Judas. Why did he, one of the twelve, betray Jesus? Was it foreordained? Did Jesus know every day of their journey together that Judas would hand him over to his death? Why would Jesus choose such a disciple? It causes me to wonder if I would ever betray Jesus like that. But more often, it reminds me of God's grace. God chooses even the sinners among us (which, really, is everyone) to be God's disciples. Perhaps God knows that acts of betrayal are in our future, but God allows for freewill, the possibility of repentance, the hope of forgiveness. God sees the image of God in each one of us, all of God's creation, and loves us immensely. So much so that God clings in relationship to us even when we betray. What amazing grace!

All the Leaves Are Brown...

2010-03-29T21:16:00.001-07:00

Discarded Leaves
Originally uploaded by auntjojo

I am sorry for missing Saturday's post. Unfortunately I was up quite late writing a Palm Sunday Sermon... I asked whether the worship on Palm Sunday was real worship since all the crowd gathered would scatter and abandon Jesus within the week. I challenged us to consider if we would scatter as well, or would we be willing to follow Jesus to Jerusalem? Would be willing to walk into centers of power and speak truth? Would we be willing to go with Jesus into the temple courtyard and overturn the tables? Are we willing to critique the sins within our own religious institutions? And are we willing to walk with Jesus to the cross, giving up our privilege and our place in the system no matter what the consequences?

While this is not a Palm leaf, it reminds me of what it might have been like the morning after Palm Sunday. Probably a few jackets left behind, lying on the ground, with a hoof print or two on them. Leaves and branches scattered around left to wither and die. And over the next few days the faith of the people would also begin to wither. They would lose their connection to the true vine and begin to turn brown and brittle. Did such lack of faith need to happen? Is there any connection to Jesus' words that "unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." (John 12:24) Our we willing to let our false worship die so that we might come to worship the true God?

You, too?

2010-03-26T21:15:00.001-07:00

You, too?
Originally uploaded by auntjojo

So... when you are wandering around your house at 11:00 pm looking for a picture, you sometimes have to get a little creative. I knew what I wanted to write about, but how to find a picture to express it?

I have been thinking a lot about the praise frenzy taking place on Palm Sunday and I have wondered if I would have ever joined in. As you may notice from my reflections, I tend to be more of a Good Friday girl. Lent fits my reflective, pensive, sometimes downright depressing self. I tend look at the Palm Sunday people and say, "Well, they won't last... Just wait until the hard stuff comes along." And in many ways I would be right. Those who celebrated Jesus were gone by the end of the week. But does that mean God thought any less of their worship?

The truth is, Jesus orchestrated Palm Sunday. It was a time for worship. Worship was the appropriate response and when the Pharisee's tried to reign it in and quiet everybody down, Jesus told them to back off. You can try to stop it, but if you do so, the rocks will just start crying out!

Yes, a rock concert. U2. A weak connection. I know. But...
I was on Soldier Field for the U2 concert last year. I tried to scream and shout and let myself get caught up in the frenzy and excitement, but I couldn't. Okay, while a few friends might disagree with me, I am under no illusions that Bono is Jesus. But my fear of celebrating and praising has little to do with that. It is about a fear of losing control, of looking silly, of being wrong. It keeps me from expressing true joy or real love or even deep sorrow or raging anger.

All this to say... while the disciples on Palm Sunday would eventually fall away, in the moment, at that moment, when Jesus chose to reveal himself as the anointed one, the Messiah, the king, they got it right. The frenzied waving of branches. The shouting and chanting. The parade into Jerusalem. These were all appropriate responses in the presence of Christ. My my faith grow in such a way that I allow myself to enter into similar moments of pure worship, forgetful of myself and focusing only on God.

Blowing in the Wind

2010-03-25T21:13:00.001-07:00

Blowing in the Wind
Originally uploaded by auntjojo

The wind was howling today, rocking my car from side to side as I stopped at a light, whipping the tree branches around the little chapel at Garrett.

I wonder if the wind was blowing on Palm Sunday? There is no mention of it, but for some reason I think perhaps it was. There is this sense that something different is happening. God is moving in mysterious ways. The energy is so palpable that the rocks might start praising God.

There is some recent research on Christ's triumphal entry that suggests that while Jesus was riding in on his little donkey through the backdoor, Pilate was parading in on a great warhorse through the front gate of Jerusalem. It seems in the movies that when the little guy goes up against the big guy, the wind seems to start blowing announcing a force beyond our understanding. I imagine the wind moving through the trees, perhaps even howling through the gates of the city letting us know that the Holy Spirit was present and that God was preparing a mighty work on that day. God was doing something we couldn't quite see and didn't quite understand, but we recognized the significance nonetheless.

Where might the wind be howling these days? Where might God be moving? Where might Jesus be riding in the backdoor challenging the might of oppressive structures and powerful enemies? And will I rejoice at its coming?

Was it All A Mistake?

2010-03-24T20:36:00.001-07:00

With Boughs in Hand
Originally uploaded by auntjojo

"The Lord is God, and he has made his light shine upon us. With bough in hand, join in the festal procession up to the horns of the altar." (Psalm 118:27)

Were the people wrong in the celebration of Jesus on Palm Sunday? Were they all misguided? Did their lack of faith on Good Friday mean they didn't truly believe on Palm Sunday? Are we allowed to praise God even when our faith is not exactly pure? Can we worship on Sunday even though we often don't make it faithfully all the way to Friday?

I have been reading ecclesiology (the study of the church) lately in preparation for a course I'm teaching at Garrett. This week we'll be discussing the marks of the church: one, holy, catholic, and apostolic. The "holiness" of the church always gets me. Clearly the church has not lived up to its reputation for holiness. And yet somehow we are still holy. The holiness of the church, much like the righteousness of each individual, is not grounded in our own ability. Rather, the church is holy because God is present. And God is present even when sin is present... as was evidenced by Christ's walk to Jerusalem.

The Palm Sunday parade was a moment of pure worship. In Luke 19, Jesus says that if the crowd had remained silent the rocks would have cried out. Jesus was revealing who he was as God's own son bringing the kingdom. And worship was the proper response. And in that moment of worship, perhaps the crowd was transformed a bit. Coming into contact with the kingdom can do that to a person. May our worship on Sunday mornings, though not perfect, be moments when we glimpse the kingdom, when we recognize the holiness of God in our midst, and when we are transformed a little. So that we might bring a bit of the holiness with us into the world.