Christmas Letter 2007

God’s voice thunders wondrously!
God does great things that we cannot comprehend.
For to the snow God says, “Fall on the earth”
And the shower of rain, God’s heavy shower of rain,
Serves as a sign on everyone’s hand, so that all whom God has made may know it.
Job 37:5-7

Merry Christmas! I doubt there was snow present on that first Christmas morning, yet God’s voice thundered wondrously even in the wail of a newborn child and in that moment we were shown how great our God’s love is for each one of us, those whom God has made.

If you have been reading my blog regularly, much of the information in this letter will not be new to you... but I thought I would post it anyway. Some of the information regarding my nieces has been edited out for their protection. If you are a friend and want more details, please e-mail me. And now, on to the Christmas Letter of 2007...

If you have not heard, in July of I quit my job as dean of students at North Park Theological Seminary and went back to school full-time… again. The seminary was very gracious in my send-off, presenting me with a brick in the pathway in front of the school honoring my years of service. This fall I am completing my last semester of classes in the Ph.D. program at Garrett Evangelical Theological School. This spring I will be studying for exams and, if God provides, next year I’ll be writing my dissertation. My research will focus on women, race, and pastoral leadership. Following that… God only knows, but hopefully it will involve teaching at a seminary.

In April I celebrated my 40th birthday with friends and family… all of my family! My parents stopped by to pick up Sandy and her family (Josh, Amber and new baby Sienna) and drove up to my house. My brother and his family (Jim, Nicole, Brenna, and Jordan) surprised us all by flying in from the West Coast! I feel blessed to have had lots of time with family this year. Sandy's to meet Sienna soon after she was born. A summer vacation on the beach in San Diego with Sandy, Jim and their families. Thanksgiving with parents and Jim’s family. I will return to my sister's in a few weeks for Christmas with the Cherry’s and to celebrate birthdays (Amber: 4 years, Sienna: 1 year).

It seems that I spent most of the last two years traveling. In April 2006, I made a spur of the moment decision with my friends, Cathy and Jim Stanley-Erickson, and a few weeks later we were in Guatemala. Highlights of the trip? A walk through the mountains outside Santa Apolonia with Julio who shared his role in defending the village against government death squads in the 1990’s. A private boat tour of the villages surrounding Lake Atitlan. And a pre-dawn hike into Tikal, the Mayan ruins in the jungle’s of northern Guatemala.

In March 2007 I co-taught a class on Church Leadership in the United States and Sweden which involved a trip to Stockholm as part of a student exchange. Afterwards I spent a few days sightseeing with a friend in Stockholm and Copenhagen. The two cities were so different! One neat, orderly, and polite. The other more rough and tumble, but full of life. Both beautiful! Then in May, I made my way to Northern Minnesota with the Wilderness and Faith Class at North Park. The class focuses on ecology and the Christian response to creation and involves a few days at a cabin on the shores of Lake Michigan then a five day canoe ride into the Boundary Waters. I have missed Minnesota and being so close to nature. The trip reminded me of the love nature instilled in me by both my parents.

Finally, in October of this year Cathy, Jim and I embarked on one more adventure… Peru. The jagged peaks of the Andes. The jungle-covered hills surrounding Machu Picchu. The Colonial city of Cusco. A bus ride through Mayan villages and a boat ride to the floating islands in Lake Titicaca. It was definitely an adventure! If you want to hear more about my trips, there are stories and pictures posted on my blog, www.marginal-thoughts.blogspot.com. And a link to my flickr sight (auntjojo).

May you hear the voice of God thundering wonderously during this Christmas season and throughout the New Year!

Reflections on a Mammogram

Turning 40… it brings all sorts of new experiences. Not the least of which was my first mammogram. All I have to say is clearly men invented this device and if you want proof that there is not sufficient funding going towards women’s health issues, consider the process of getting a mammogram. Your breast is treated like an object… okay, that may not be new for women in our society… perhaps the difference is that suddenly your breast has no sexual or social implications whatsoever. The doctor pokes and prods it. The nurse lifts it up and pushes it this way and that. Then this contraption squeezes it harder than you ever imagined was possible. And they take a picture. As one who has never really had anyone poking or prodding my breasts, it was a bit of an uncomfortable experience. I imagine that pregnant women go through similar experiences with various parts of their bodies suddenly assuming different roles and/or significance in the world. I knew that our bodies were culturally as well as physically constructed, but this brought that understanding to a whole new level. It is amazing how our culture has shaped the significance of various body parts. How that construction is related to issues of power, race, and gender. How a body part can have a different meaning in a variety of contexts. As someone interested in art and photography, how can you tell the difference between art and pornography? Who gets to draw that line? Is it the person begin filmed, painted, or photographed? Is it the “artist”? The government and its laws and legislations? Our various cultures? The cultural construction of the body is significant theological discussion in feminist and womanist circles as well as among black theologians and others who reflect on issues of slavery and abuse. We tend to devalue the bodies that we want to use for our own benefit or pleasure. Perhaps we do the same to individual parts of our bodies. Perhaps we do it to ourselves as well as others. It seems clear that God values us as material beings, created with bodies that are to reflect the image of God. It seems clear that we are to treat others, and their bodies, as if they are bearers of God’s image. It seems clear, too, that I must be concerned about how we have constructed our world in such a way that others bodies don’t seem as valuable as mine. When traveling outside of the United States, I am constantly aware of the fact that my body is often more protected than the bodies of people from other countries who don’t have the power and influence to demand that their bodies be treated with respect. I am also aware that my body can become symbolic… one United States Citizen… or one Iraqi… or one Mexican… treated in such a way as to communicate something to the whole… in such a way that the individual body, the individual person disappears… All that from a simple mammogram.

Formerly Known As....

Today was my last day as dean of students at North Park Theological Seminary. It has been a very long good-bye! It all started with an announcement last January to free up the seminary to search for a new dean at Midwinter. It was followed by goodbye's with students in Mid-May, with faculty and staff in late May, with NPU staff in June, and finally... a quiet exiting of the building at about 3:00 pm today.

There are so many different feelings associated with leaving a position like this. As with most jobs, the work is on-going and so much is left undone. Yet, unlike many jobs, there has been a sense of accomplishment over the years. Watching students graduate, find their first call, and live into the ministries they have been called to. Students, faculty, and staff were incredibly generous with their support and praise over the years. I realize how much of a blessing that has been. And it is a privilege to be in the depths and at times mess of people's lives and to see them come through, grow, and change through the process. And of course to see God at work in the midst of it all.

I am leaving a community that I have been in the heart of for the last seven years. I am scared about moving into new communities and trying to start over again. I am unsure at times how to negotiate the changes in roles. I wonder which of my friendships were based on work and which will endure. I wonder how to negotiate the move from dean to.... well, it will be different for different students. For some I will always remain the dean. For others a mentor. For others friends and peers. Some, I am sure, will be my mentors in the near future. Yet it is always difficult to explain to some students that I am different as a friend than as a dean. That I expect different things. To be honest... I am not nearly as compassionate as a friend! I don't really enjoy being the care-taker all the time!

Some of you know me well enough to know that I am a gift person... in the sense that meaningful gifts are important to me. I like to give... and to get... gifts that are thoughtful and appropriate. And I was overwhelmed with the gifts that were bestowed upon me by the seminary. I'll just share three:

The first was a stone.... yes, many people were confused by this! The Association of Covenant Clergy Women sponsored the art stone project. Various organizations commissionsed artists to decorate paper mache stones and then they were auctioned off at Midwinter and the Annual Meeting. Three of our students were commissioned to decorate one of the stones: Katie Rose (from Alaska), Katia Kozlova (from Russia), and Ileana Garcia-Soto (from Puerto Rico). Here is a picture of the result... the words of a poem by Edward Munch are written on the stone. Jay Phelan went to a lot of trouble to make sure he was the highest bidder on this stone!



The second was a book complied of letters from students, faculty, staff, alumni, and even a few from denominational leaders. My staff did an incredible job putting it together. It was perfect. I was moved by stories of moments where I had touched people without even knowing it. I was also amazed that others had seen and valued the things that were most important to me in my work... especially in the areas of advocating for women and students of color.

The third was a brick. Yes... a stone and a brick. They gave a donation to the seminary and had my name engraved on a brick to go in the pathway in front of Nyvall Hall. Next to those honoring former deans of the seminary, this one has my name, title, and tenure.


So now I am know as the person who was "formerly know as" the dean of students at North Park Theological Seminary. I have no new title to replace it. I am just a student again. It is a little difficult to adjust to! But probably good for my ego.

Another 40 Year Old Virgin

I have hesitated writing this post… it’s embarrassing. It’s vulnerable. It’s about sex. It is not like I want to announce to everyone that I am now a 40 year old virgin… but it seems like someone needs to. I remember a few years ago a woman writing a book on the subject of her virginity at a relatively late age. I also remember the jokes on Letterman and Leno about it. I won’t go into those here. Then, of course, there was the recent movie with the title “The 40 Year Old Virgin.” It is not the first time I have been the stereotypical geek of a movie. You might remember the movie “Sixteen Candles.” Classic teen romance. Geek meets jock. Molly Ringwold. Joan Cusack plays the girl with the back brace they ride the bus with. If you can picture it… in junior high I was the girl with the back brace, braces on my teeth (the big silver ones… not the clear ones they have now!), carrying the cello with her on and off the school bus.

Okay, so this is a little different. Yet it evokes some of the same feelings. I feel like I must be the only 40 year old virgin in the world. Though I know it is not true. I have friends in a similar situation. A few. It is such a joke that I wonder if something is wrong with me. Okay, granted, I have trouble with relationships and there is something a bit messed up about me. Yet, from what I have observed, perfection has not been a requirement for most people to start having sex.

The reason it disturbs me the most is that I feel the same way in the midst of the church as I do in the rest of the world. Lauren Winner recently spoke about sex at North Park. She has a fairly recent book about chastity. I’ve heard it is a great book. I also know that it was written by someone discovering chastity as a new Christian, a renewed virginity. I’ve decided I should write a book about virginity… what it is really like to wait for 40 years. (I hate to admit it… while it might be frustrating, it hasn’t been that difficult. I don’t have guys falling at my feet begging me for sex everyday… or ever).

I have found that most people assume that someone who is single and my age has had sex. If we haven’t had sex, we must have found some outlet for our sexuality. And most of the outlets people can imagine are not condoned by the church. So, we must be doing something sinful. But it is easier to assume that I am doing something sinful than to imagine that I might actually have been faithful. Now don’t let your mind wander too far at this point… stick to the point of the post….
I am not writing to condemn those who have not followed this path. I know it is a hard road for many. I don’t know why God has not placed me in a situation where my conviction has been seriously tested. Mostly I am grateful for that...I suppose I wanted to write this to encourage others who have remained chaste their whole life… and have done it as an act of faith and obedience. It is not something we should be ashamed of. It is not something that people should whisper about or make jokes about… especially in the church. It does not mean that we are undesirable or unattractive. It is simply the path that God has called us to… may the church come alongside and support us as we strive to be faithful.