So, lest you think that just because I post these spiritual reflections I am always focused on Christ this season, today is a day for a bit of confession. To be honest, I'm a mess around the holidays. I'm cranky. I'm ungrateful. I don't like hardly any of the gifts I receive. (Of course, this year has been different!) I always feel lonely. And for the most part, I focus on all the things that I don't have. I focus on the way my grown up Christmases are not the way I expected them to be. I get jealous of my relatives. I can be miserable to be with. Everything seems to get out of focus fairly regularly during the holidays.
I post... because it helps me to stay a bit more focused. I post... as a statement of faith. Not exactly what I feel at the moment, but what I know to be true, what I am trying to cling to. I post... because it means that everyday I have to look at the biblical texts for the week. I post... because even though I know that most of you would not really care that much, I would feel guilty if I didn't follow through on this public commitment. And I post... because it helps me to give throughout the Christmas season. So, to all of you who read this... even if it is only once or twice during the season... thank you. Thank you for helping me to stay focused.
2 comments:
Thanks for posting this, I so feel the same way thru the holidays. I want to feel joy and all but many times it is a let down, I love to give the gifts and would love a huge family thing to do and some traditions... but every year these dreams seem to get muddled up. Thank God I have him to get me thru and stay focused on! Or my family might ship me off!
you sound like me....
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