Disturbed and Moved

John 11:33-35 "When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, he was greatly disturbed in spirit and deeply moved. He said, 'Where have you laid him?' They said to him, 'Lord, come and see.' Jesus began to weep.'"

Commentators generally agree that this chapter in John reveals the most divine and the most human aspects of Jesus all within a few verses. We have a Jesus with friends whom he cares for, a Jesus disturbed and moved. We also have a Jesus who knew when Lazarus had died, who proclaimed himself the resurrection and the life, and who raised a person from the dead. The extremes of the incarnation. The human and the divine. Only God could hold those together.

There is much speculation as to why Jesus was disturbed in vs. 33. It is not that there are a lack of possibilities! In fact, that is part of the problem. Was he mad at those who doubted his love for Lazarus? Or his ability to raise him from the dead? That does not strike me as very "Jesus-like," but not being divine myself I am not always right about these things. Some wonder if he was angry at those who were present but would eventually condemn him to death. Some believe he was angry at death itself and the pain it causes. Some believe that his own grief was full of conflicting emotions... anger, concern, sorrow, love... much like any other human being.

I took the image for today while it was raining out... a particularly apt moment to reflect on a God who cries with us and for us. But this particular sculpture has also caught my eye so often when driving by. I imagine it representing the anger Jesus must have felt as something crumbled. Or the crumbling of something false that happened in response to Jesus' anger. The loss of life. The loss of hope. The way that Jesus' walk towards the cross resembled a crumbling world for the disciples, but was in fact a tearing down of the old to build up something new.

Despite knowing that it was all for God's glory, despite knowing that it was the path of redemption, Jesus pauses... and weeps... reminding me that we are allowed to feel all sorts of things as we walk this path with Jesus. That sorrow and grief and anger may be appropriate emotions at times. We do not need to hide them. But we also cannot allow them to stop us from continuing to move forward... even if our destiny is with Christ's... on the cross.