What's so bad about being in the dark?

"The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who lived in a land of deep darkness-- on them light has shined." (Isaiah 9:2)

The general interpretation of this text assumes that dark is a bad thing and light is a good thing. That all people want to move from darkness to light. That light will lead people out of the darkness of their lives...

Now, I am not a big fan of the dark. In fact I have always been quite scared of the dark. It took me years to live alone without waking up in panic during the night... and sometimes I still wake up afraid. But, to be honest, these days I kind of wish I could live a bit more in the dark.

I have always envied those people who could walk through life oblivious to what is going on around them... always in the dark, so to speak, but seemingly much happier than I am. I, unfortunately, see things... when things are wrong, when someone is angry, when their is hurt or sorrow, when injustice is taking place.

Well... most of the time. As a white person in the United States I have become painfully aware that most of us have lived most of our lives in the dark about much that takes place in the world. I have worked hard to educate myself about issues of racism, sexism, classism, and other injustices taking place in the world around me. I have read about and experienced systems that discriminate against people... occasionally against me for my gender... more often against others for a wide variety of reasons. I continue to try to enlighten myself on these issues, make myself more aware of where they reside both in the world and in my own life.

It seems to be a part of faithfully growing as a disciple of Christ. Allowing God to continually enlighten you, to reveal to yourself the sin present in your own life and in the world around you. The light shines not only to reveal the good, but to reveal the bad.

And so... to be honest, there are times I want to flee back into the darkness. The light hurts my eyes... and my ears and my heart.

During this Advent Season, God grant me the courage to stay in the light, to move deeper into the light, to have the courage to continue walking forward with eyes wide open knowing that in doing so I will come to know you and all you care about in a deeper way.