To Much Information?

I know it is a bit early in the Lenten season for the cross... but I can't stop thinking about the fact that Peter, James, and John, when they looked at all Jesus was going through before the crucifixion, and then to see Jesus on the cross (at least I think they saw him there)... of all the disciples, of all those who witnessed what was happening, they had been the ones just days or weeks before to see how glorious Jesus truly was. They must have known, perhaps in a deeper way than the others, that God's son had just been killed. And Peter... with that knowledge, with that glorious image of Christ on the mountaintop at the crucifixion in his head. Can you imagine the weight of guilt when he denied him three times?

Would it have been better if they had never known? If Christ had waited to reveal himself until the resurrection? Looking back, would they have wished the transfiguration never happened?

There are times in my life when I wish I didn't know God so well. Times when in my doubts and struggles with God, in my anger and frustration with the world around me, I think how much easier it would be to walk away. There are days when my faith seems to difficult to bear, when the weight of racism and sexism and all of those other oppressions that have woven themselves into the fabric of the church is overwhelming and I wish I could walk away.

Most of the time, however, I am thankful for the glimpses of God that I have received. I am grateful that the Holy Spirit enable faith and this connection with God that is beyond understanding. And I rejoice that even in my darkest days, I can't seem to let go. I think that is what transfiguration moments are all about. They are glimpses of God's glory that get us through the tough times. For although Peter, James and John knew that God's son was being crucified, they also knew that he existed and had walked with them and talked with them. And perhaps the transfiguration was what enabled them to get through it. To have that slim thread of hope that caused them to run to the tomb when Mary told them the body was missing.